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My former partner is adopted and it's a touchy subject for h

xXBeautifully-CorrodedXx's picture
[8090]

My former partner is adopted and it's a touchy subject for him. I just outed that personal information about it to his friends on accident not thinking straight. I don't know why I wasn't thinking but it happened. I feel awful because now he is really sad and I don't know how to help him cope...

Help please? What can I do to make him feel less wanted and make him feel better?

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xXBeautifully-CorrodedXx's picture
[8100]
Nov 14

@Narodnik57 wait I'm sorry I'm a little confused. I think of nature as the environment that we grow up in. And you're saying that after meeting your biological family and you interact with them you felt less connected with your biological family or more connected?

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xXBeautifully-CorrodedXx's picture
[8100]
Nov 14

@Littleturtle1000 yes, I'm trying to have some kind of relationship with him. But it's been very difficult

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Narodnik57's picture
[670]
Nov 14

@xXBeautifully-CorrodedXx Nature=Your biology. Born with certain things like sexual preference, gender identity, depression, temperament, etc. Nurture=What you do with your Nature.

Being adopted, I grew up around people who never shared by most basic sense of being - that biological me that makes me (or people like me) unique in tastes, habits, and temperament. While my adopted family socialized and educated me, they did so according to THEIR innate, natural responses and reactions. It's not something generic. That 'environment' we grow up in is very much shaped, in idea and tone, by the people who raise us and, if they are not biologically similar to us, much of what they convey might seem strange or even wrong when it comes down to our feelings about them.

Nature is what you get.
Nurture is what you do with it.
To Nurture, you have get clear on your Nature.

From my own experience, much about myself became better understood when I met my biological family (mother, brother, sisters, cousins, etc.) I also discovered that I am better off away from them. Apparently, I nurtured myself too much and find them toxic and/or boring.

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