Where I'm from, females have babies at a young age. It's alm

Qu1f1re's picture

Where I'm from, females have babies at a young age. It's almost normal to see some family have those young teenage mothers. I'm not saying their parents encourage them to get pregnant but when it happens, it happens and no one gets scolded for it. But I on the other hand. Had heard from a real early age to not get pregnant for as long as I can. To wait, wait, wait ,wait. And I did. And considered myself lucky for waiting for so long. But now at this present time I feel as if that was a mistake waiting for as long as I did. I had my first when I was 35. My second at 37 and my third at 40. And I'm 41 now. But now, having to deal with my two youngest (because my first lives with her father a few cities over), seems to be harder for me then someone who started their families earlier. And let me say that, I have a lot more respect for the ladies with multiple kids, the single moms and the ones who are just trying to give they're kids a good life and just get by. But I feel as if my motherly instincts have some what vanished. All because I waited for as long as I can. And now my children are the ones who are suffering because the that. I wish I wouldn't of took that advice. I've been by myself for so long, only taking care of me and my needs(except for all my many and different kinda of pets I had my whole life growing up). I never had to plan for anything else but just for myself. Never had to worry about any lil one except for myself. Or nurture, protect, teach/raise, fend or struggle for. So I feel like I'm failing my kids. I live with the father and our two kids together. But I always thought I was dysfunctional. And I think the father is dysfunctional. I say we're a bunch of dysfunctional functional's.! But I can't help to see It's possibly rubbing up on my son (my 2cd oldest). And I don't know what to do. He's acting out. Because of corona virus he's not in school. Ima stay at home mom while his father has his own business working like 12-16 hours days sometimes . So it's just me, my son and my daughter all day everyday. I want to better myself somehow. So I was thinking of parenting classes. But I doubt there is anything like that on the internet that is free. So I'm asking help with any type of advice as to were I can find some sort of resources or anything with anything. Sorry, if I'm not giving enough info or too much info. I'm just stuck at a rutt and need some helpful advice.! Thank you everyone. Stay safe and well.

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Your feelings sound pretty natural and understandable for your circumstances. I think a lot of families have some type of dysfunction at least in some areas. Have you gave much thought to any areas that you are better functioning at? Try to think of your positives too (your strengths) and put more thought and energy towards those. Some ideas I have are for you to invite family over more if you have any especially if they have kids it will be good for you and the kids to have more play dates. If you have any friends with kids invite them over. Since your kids aren't of school age yet it's a bit harder because none of you get exposed to anything really, then with more restrictions because of covid that adds to it so we have to get more creative to get out. Are they having any events at your local library that you know of? You could call to see if they have anything for little kids. Some libraries have nice little play areas so you could check tha out. You could meet other parents that way too. If you have any neighbors with little ones you could invite them over to your yard to have a get together for reading stories and play time. I would definitely look at your libraries website and call them about any activities for kids. Even if they don't you can go to the library for outings and get yourself some books or dvds on parenting to help yourself plus it will be good to get a change of scenery for all of you. Some churches have great accommodations for little ones with great play areas and child care so thats a thought. I think so many of us moms self educate it isnt easy and can be quite scary at times. Stay in touch here some days are slower than others but you will meet others here that will be glad to give input.

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CKBlossom's picture
Oct 15

There are often free parenting classes through JCCs, YMCAs, the library, even through your school district.  I know I get emails from the family specialist at the my kid's elementary all the time about classes offered through the school.  

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