Where I'm from, females have babies at a young age. It's alm

Qu1f1re's picture
(11910)

Where I'm from, females have babies at a young age. It's almost normal to see some family have those young teenage mothers. I'm not saying their parents encourage them to get pregnant but when it happens, it happens and no one gets scolded for it. But I on the other hand. Had heard from a real early age to not get pregnant for as long as I can. To wait, wait, wait ,wait. And I did. And considered myself lucky for waiting for so long. But now at this present time I feel as if that was a mistake waiting for as long as I did. I had my first when I was 35. My second at 37 and my third at 40. And I'm 41 now. But now, having to deal with my two youngest (because my first lives with her father a few cities over), seems to be harder for me then someone who started their families earlier. And let me say that, I have a lot more respect for the ladies with multiple kids, the single moms and the ones who are just trying to give they're kids a good life and just get by. But I feel as if my motherly instincts have some what vanished. All because I waited for as long as I can. And now my children are the ones who are suffering because the that. I wish I wouldn't of took that advice. I've been by myself for so long, only taking care of me and my needs(except for all my many and different kinda of pets I had my whole life growing up). I never had to plan for anything else but just for myself. Never had to worry about any lil one except for myself. Or nurture, protect, teach/raise, fend or struggle for. So I feel like I'm failing my kids. I live with the father and our two kids together. But I always thought I was dysfunctional. And I think the father is dysfunctional. I say we're a bunch of dysfunctional functional's.! But I can't help to see It's possibly rubbing up on my son (my 2cd oldest). And I don't know what to do. He's acting out. Because of corona virus he's not in school. Ima stay at home mom while his father has his own business working like 12-16 hours days sometimes . So it's just me, my son and my daughter all day everyday. I want to better myself somehow. So I was thinking of parenting classes. But I doubt there is anything like that on the internet that is free. So I'm asking help with any type of advice as to were I can find some sort of resources or anything with anything. Sorry, if I'm not giving enough info or too much info. I'm just stuck at a rutt and need some helpful advice.! Thank you everyone. Stay safe and well.

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Qu1f1re's picture
(11910)
Oct 25, 2021

@CKBlossom i wonder how I can get those kinds of emails too.

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(50)
Oct 26, 2021

Hi, don’t be hard on yourself! Being an older mom can be harder — I know I don’t have the same energy I did when I’m my 20s — but it also brings a lot of advantage of experience that younger mom don’t have.

There is some free parenting info online, not the full classes maybe but tips and short lessons. Try YouTube and look up positive parenting or active parenting for some video pointers (just make sure they are led by qualified people like social workers and certified therapists because there is also misguided info out there). Activeparenting.com has a parenting style quiz that is helpful and I think some free worksheets.

If you just need ideas for what to do with the kids while they aren’t in school: some libraries have free weekly craft activities. You can sometimes find free printable coloring sheets online and videos about how to do different crafts, often with household items and just a few cheap supplies. There are lots of free videos from zoos and nature centers with info about animals and plants that you can combine with your own nature walks outside (also a good source of craft materials).

It sure has been a strain trying to keep kids entertained and feeling supported during COVID but you might be pleasantly surprised at what new ideas you can find poking around online.

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Qu1f1re's picture
(11910)
Oct 30, 2021

Thanks NJoldermom and CKBlossom. You guys really helped me with some great ideas. Gosh darn you guys must be fun as parents. Thanks for taking the time to read my chapter long post and giving me your helpful advice. I really appreciate your help. If you guys ever need any kind of support, you can always come to me and I'll help you the best that I can. !!!! Thanks again friends.!

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