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Hello. I'm new here. I see that there are other women here w

Cowpunkmom's picture
[85]

Hello. I'm new here. I see that there are other women here who are suffering from their partner's ED as well.

ALL the help I can find on the internet is about the man. NOBODY is addressing how lonely, unloved, undesirable, and awful the woman feels. The only advice I can find is "be supportive of him, you don't know how difficult it is for a man"...WHAT ABOUT US????? I'm getting a bit sick of being supportive, when I don't feel I'm getting any support in return. My sexuality is just as important as my partners, and I feel I am being left behind.

We have tried to establish "once a week" as a time for him to pleasure me sexually. This would be enough for me (barely. I have a high sex drive), but there is always some excuse. He's too tired, work is stressing him out, he doesn't feel well, he forgot. And his computer is full of porn. HOW IS THIS SUPPOSED TO MAKE ME FEEL????

I am just about done. I am here for him. If he wants to look at a naked lady doing just about anything, I'd do it for him. Why does he have to turn to porn when I'm horny and lonely and feeling unloved in the next room?

I don't know what my question is. I have absolutely nobody to talk to, and I spend most of the day crying. My sexuality matters, too. Doesn't it?

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[1130]
May 15

I can simpothise with your feelings and I'm guilty of being one of those people you're sick of and I sense a little hostility. Maybe if you're husband got his mojo back it could rekindle your relationship? What is causing his ED, how long has he had ED and what has he tried? Urotalk.com has a Support section for women who have partners with ED.

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Cowpunkmom's picture
[85]
May 15

I'm sorry for the hostility. I have been trying to be so delicate and careful as I deal with him, and it never helps. He blows up if I even mention sex. So I have some anger and sadness and hurt all seething away inside. Thank you for being brave enough to comment!

He had a heart attack last year, and discovered type-2 diabetes, so is on beta-blockers and other meds, which ALL contribute to ED. We really do love each other, we are such a good fit for each other. I'm just completely mystified that an otherwise rational and peaceful man can turn into a triggered, whiny rage-machine when I gently state that we need to discuss our sexuality. I ask him how could I bring it up so that it won't trigger him, and there really isn't an answer he can give me. It's always the wrong time. When I ask what the right time is, he doesn't have an answer for that either. He does NOT want to talk about it at ALL. He'd rather pretend everything is fine...and other than the sex, it is! But he is obsessed with the fact that his penis won't work, even though I lovingly say over and over that we don't need a hard penis to have satisfying love-making. It doesn't sink in. He doesn't hear me. And he won't talk to anyone about it. I'm reaching the end of my tether. He hasn't tried anything to help the ED, which is also very frustrating.

Thanks for the info on the other support group, I will check it out.

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