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This is hard for me because i am a man who believes he is be

This is hard for me because i am a man who believes he is being abused. When i try to defend myself I get angry and raise my voice and then i feel bad for getting so angry and my says that I am the one being abusive. I dont know maybe i am but my gut tell me differently. I support my wife in everything she does. I do not care what she does for a living or who she hangs out with or if she spends time away from me for work or friends. As long as their is balance. She has demanded all of my passwords which i gave to her years ago because she stated that all married couples do this and if you didnt have anything to hide you would give your passwords. I didnt so i did. I thought she would only use them when needed. I found out she logs in multiple times a week to see who i have been talking to. She blocked every girl that i was friends with on facebook beside our mutual friends. I didnt know this for a year or more. I thought they all deleted me. When my friends call to spend time to go fishing ot go to a sporting event. She has an emotional breakdown and tell me that i dont love my family and id rather spend time with my friends. I have spent time with the best man in our wedding since the wedding. I have to turn him down on all of his invites to avoid the day long arguments. If i stand up for myself and mean it. She threatens me with divorce and that I'm cheating on her. I work with women and she bad mouths them and says that i like them and are trying to get with them. She has tried to turn me against my own mother and sisters and sometimes i believe her. She has no girlfriends, i encourage her to go out and do her own thing and she wont. We had a huge fight over the weekend because i stayed up to late. I have a work obligation tomorrow and when i told her about it. You just want to go drinking with your work friends or whoever it is your messing around with. I said their will be alcohol their but not for me because i will be technically working. I have to give a speech and will be on the news. This did not matter. She lied and said if i went she would have to cancel her appointment. Im not sure if she even had one. She is threatning me with divorce and pushing me to agree to a tempory hearing for custody of the kids. I asked for a few days to think about it. She stated that she needs to know right now. I dont know what to do. I stopped getting upset with all of the behaviors and brush them off. This has seemed to make them happen more frequently. What do i do?

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[525]
May 18

This morning my daughter took my phone off my night stand and brought it to mom. Within 3 minutes I was awoken by yelling. I had sent copies of the texts she had sent me to my work email. This set her off and she got online and started filling out divorce papers. A army recruiter Also emailed me and I replied sign me up jokingly. She emailed me back to ask if I was serious I stated I had already served. She accused me of having sex with her. I’ve never met this person. I then told her about counseling and that I scheduled an appointment. She ridiculed stating that they will take the kids. (There is nothing going on to hurt my children) I don’t know where she came up with that. Then she said the counselor I’m going to see is our neighbor and he will tell everyone. This is getting insane and I don’t know what to do.

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[525]
May 18

@369 I wish they had a like button haha

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[525]
May 18

@hockeyplayer_18 she used the cleaning against me this morning. She said I did all this work yesterday and now you are going to counseling I thought we were ok.

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