This week's Brilliant New Topic: It is Thanksgiving next week y'all, where has the year gone???
November 19th, 2020

https://www.supportgroups.com/blog/thanksgiving-is-in-a-week-yall-where-...

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so i had a question. ive been struggling to figure out wheth

[400]

so i had a question. ive been struggling to figure out whether im getting hurt or not. i have an endless cycle with my parents when they act nice and then they flip around and remind me that they are "my parents, not my friends" and they begin to say some weird things. ive always considered from a young age that my parents were nice people, since everyone that met them said so. since my dad was an abuse victim, i thought that he would never ever want to hurt me and that made me feel safe. since i was 11, though, i realized some of the things they said were not quite right. on the way to school my mom would talk about how i needed to work out more, and she would frequently comment (since i did a kids running program one spring) that i "was not as fit as the other kids" so i needed to walk, which was "on my level". at the time, i only thought my mother was looking after me and i was making a big deal out of it (i was sensitive about my weight, though not overweight, and had some eating issues). when i brought up a topic at the dinner table, my dad would always talk about it like everything was wrong unless it matched up to what he said. he refers to my opinions like i am too flimsy to make my own, and i am too stupid to even mention. and when i was placed into the gifted program, he genuinly looked surprised. i remember doing an engineering assignment a few weeks ago (a class he picked out for me), and showing it to him. he started yelling at me, saying that i was lazy and i didn't put it any work. my mom called it a peice of crap. i thought he was just mad because he liked engineering, and deserved to be yelled at. he always makes sure he moniters my devices, like parents normally do, so i gave him my tablet to let him look it over. he started going through my friends private conversations, and since my friends have always been there to support me, i stood up for them. as usual, he didn't care about my opinion, and he started yelling at me about how i should find different friends. i broke down crying, and then he started to laugh and say "see, you don't know anything. you're a kid, and you're so ignorant you don't even know what you don't know". i was so humiliated. and it wasn't even the words it was like this tone of voice that talked to me like i was 5. and i felt so bad about it. these are the ones that i remember the most, but there were lots of other small, things that made me feel like something was wrong. i remember comparing myself to other kids and being so surprised when their parents spoke highly of them in front of their friends. i feel kinda bad everytime i consider that they did something wrong, and no matter how forceful they've been they haven't really hit me that much. i just need to know if somethings wrong or not, so i can ease my mind and try to fix some problems

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[400]
Jul 21

@Oneseedatatime unfortunately, it was a pretty bad experience. my parents were constantly watching over me to make sure if i said something they could get involved. i would like to go to therapy, but i have negative associations with professionals. whenever my parents see something they don't like they try to send me to see someone instead of trying to talk to me.

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[3145]
Aug 2

@kat298,

Oh I see. How have things been since?

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[400]
Aug 4

@Oneseedatatime i never went back to therapy. i plan to go someday, with the right therapist, but until then my friends are helping me cope. i'm proud to say that i have a very strong group of friends, so they have been supporting me and helping me get to a better mental state.

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