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PLEASE READ. I don’t know what to do anymore. I’m living

PLEASE READ. I don’t know what to do anymore. I’m living current bf and our two daughters. He’s always comes home yelling and cursing. When he’s mad he’s disrespectful. Tells me I’m not intelligent I’m incompetent he breaks my things. If i try to ignore him with earphones he snatches those n tries to break them. He’s broken my laptop two of my phones in less than a year. I don’t work i stay home with our daughters who are both 1. He tells me if anyone ever knew me they wouldn’t hire me. Makes me feel very low and i look at myself in the mirror very differently than i did before him. I feel i lost myself. I’m miserable almost everyday and i can’t take it no more but i have no where to go and so much to do in order to leave where it feels impossible. I feel like I’m depressed sometimes but have never been diagnosed but sometimes i just feel like I’m in a hole I’ll never leave. Any advice or insight wil really be helpful

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Littlesis7's picture
[15995]
Jun 11

I'm glad you shared here -you are not alone. Most men have ONE emotion - ANGER. That's all they were taught to show.
It seems he has an extreme anger issue...breaking things is such a bad way to try to control someone. That is what he's doing- controlling you emotionally thru FEAR.
Don't believe his words putting you down & saying no one would hire you. HE is actually saying it bc he's afraid you could get work and leave him.
Of course I'm not a counselor but I have lived for a long time with a guy just like you described.
He screamed at me, pushed me around constantly.
He bullied me & tried to make me think I wasn't smart. I believed a lot of his emotional lies and OMG the drama!! So exhausting with our young kids around absorbing it all in (so bad).
He was a very intelligent guy ( they usually ARE).
It took me years of anxiety and depression eating me alive to learn how to stand up and say what I needed him to hear.
It also took some therapy.
We needed so much therapy.
I am a person of spirituality and Faith, let me tell you some days I gave up on the whole idea. That's bc I really believed I was worthless. Eventually I realized I'm not - but actually a pretty great human!
He was a classic narcissist.
You have some work ahead of you. If your situation doesn't change, it could not only affect the rest of your life but the life of your KIDS. Only you can decide what direction you want in life.
You sound like a very intelligent, caring person. Don't let him keep crushing your soul.
If you can't afford therapy, check your county ( if U.S.) for public talk therapy or women's/ mom's groups ( most churches have some kind of this,).
Go online to review certain charity groups.
He /you both need help because you and your kids deserve happiness.

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[1585]
Jun 14

Oh I am so sorry you are living through this, this is abuse. Please look for help, if that means opening up to family or close friends or looking into a woman's shelter you need to find a safe place for you and your children. Please know that this is not normal and you should not have to live like this. Please know that you are a wonderful person and deserve so much more that this, and so do your children. We are here to listen....... Praying for you.....

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