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my boyfriend is depressed and just says the most hurtful thi

my boyfriend is depressed and just says the most hurtful things to push me away. Ive given up so much to be with him, college, friends, etc. and it seems like he doesnt even care about any of that. Anytime i try and tell him how i feel he tells me im being selfish. We hardly see each other and we never have sex. I cry everyday about it, i just feel so alone and i dont know what to do. I want to be with him but im so lonely.

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Sep 14

I know you care for him and want the best for him, but people can only change themselves.What you can do is be the healthiest version of you when you are around him. It is possible that one day your kindness and compassion will be what he needs to finally get to the point where he wants to get better. He is hurting himself for reasons he may or may not realize and needs help to process through those traumas and hurts. It would be good for you to work through your own abandonment issues so you can heal. Also look into understanding codependency. All of this untreated will not allow room for a healthy relationship. But treated, even hurt people can have healthy relationships.

Sep 17

I'm so sorry you're feeling so lonely and he's giving you so little attention. You say that you gave up so much to be with him - college, friends. Did you move away from college and friends to move near him?

Sep 19

You deserve better than this boyfriend. People who care about you do not isolate you from your friends and encourage you to finish college.

I know that it is very hard to walk away from someone you think you love— we all have difficulty there.

But it does not sound like your boyfriend is improving your life— quite the contrary.


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