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its been over a month since i stopped talking to my ex, just

harlno's picture
[220]

its been over a month since i stopped talking to my ex, just around two months since i broke it off. i cant get him out of my head. i will just being getting on with my day and suddenly i remember something he said he did that, at the time i simply felt uncomfortable or hurt by, but now i look back on it and i realise just how bad it actually was. and with one realisation comes another and so on and now i cant get him out of my head. and i feel so stupid because i told him time and time again that he wasnt abusive, because hed constantly ask if he was and i said no every time. but honestly i was scared and i knew i couldnt tell him the truth even when he begged me to be honest.. i just couldnt tell the truth because i knew that what would happen would make things worse. and now a thought came to mind, i thought it jokingly, but now im like 'oh ***** and im probably just reading too much into it but he gave me a bracelet that monitered my heart and itd log when i moved, you know the ones, because he wanted to know every detail of my day because he wanted to talk to me every second of the day no matter what and if i said i couldnt because i was doing something he'd later check the bracelet to see if i was moving, and i jokingly thought 'it was like a dogs collar' and now im probably overanalyzing it but in a way it kind of was. im scared to post this because ive somehow convinced myself that he will see it, and im scared that now he will message me in response to this, but the anxiety i feel because of him is returning and the more i realise what he did was wrong the more it brings up memories from the past from similar situations and i dont know if i can deal with all of it. sorry for a long post, just needed to write this out

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CKBlossom's picture
[469535]
May 26

Try to write down the things that pop into your head that he has said to you and then cross them out or write them in red and then write down why this is untrue and then follow up with a positive affirmation!

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