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It really is true what they say about narcissists. Once you

It really is true what they say about narcissists. Once you no longer feed into them they look elsewhere for a new source to feed off of, kicking you to the curb.

My narcissistic ex a few weeks ago was all paranoid because she believed that I was talking to people who used to be in her life, which wasn't the case. I finally figured out that she was probably worried that I would tell others what she is really like. She can be so sweet and charming to draw you in and then "BAM", leaving you wondering what just happened.

We still talk, and see each other, but things are slowly drifting away. Why this makes me so sad inside I just don't understand, everybody tells me I would be better off without her in my life.

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[1265]
May 18

@pickone I needed your words today, and no contact is so important, I went 3 weeks and was moving forward and then I had to talk to him, and it has set me back again and I hate myself for allowing him to get me again. Then I look like a crazy lady. Ugh. No contact !!!

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[745]
May 19

I now have no choice but to go no contact and try and move on. Yesterday was the last straw. Another nasty, verbal and emotional assault was launched on me over what I just said or didn't say. She was relentless, calling me a liar, that I always lie to her, bringing up the past then accusing me of bringing up the past. She created a new reality in her own head from what I told her, spun it into chaos, just to fight?

This insanity was over me telling her that I got together with two of our late friends former co-workers for drinks after work yesterday in celebrating our late friends birthday. I told her I texted one of them on Thursday to confirm our plans. I had to let her go and that I'd call her back. No problems. It was a nice, brief conversation. It all went insane when I called her back. From sweet to anger, rage, accusatory, mean, cold, hateful, hurtful within an hour. She wouldn't let it go. She was convinced that I told her I just ran into them at a bar, when I know I didn't say that. I was lying, that I always lie, that she doesn't know if she can trust me....WTF!?! Of course then she brought up the past again. Twisting things around, her one sided view, not hearing me, just pick, pick, pick, pick away at something, something so meaningless, something she created in her own mind, until it becomes raw.

I don't know. I am stunned, numb, angry and shocked. I have so much built up inside right now, along with the pain, sadness and anguish. Why did I so freely grant someone else carte blanche over my life, my feelings, my emotions, my daily thoughts. Why have I given/allowed this person the power to control and manipulate me? To disrespect me. To devalue me. To hurt me. To emotionally and verbally abuse me repeatedly? Lord help me. Give me the strength and courage to move on. I am in a very dark place right now. Last nights latest episode and barrage really hit me. I'm in a dark place right now.

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[1265]
May 20

@MaxHeadCase exact conversation I had almost word for word, they really are all from the same cloth..uggno contact!

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