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I'm so confused. I have a weird thing going out with someone

I'm so confused. I have a weird thing going on with someone long distance. we were dating and he touched on every insecurity I had, but we seemed to work through it okay until I visited.

It's important to note that we've both been abused in different ways.

In my case, both my parents were drug addicts. I was born an addict and a lot of my serotonin sensors are fried. I, unfortunately, dated the kind of chauvinistic, religiously uptight men I was expected to date and they put me down for my increased sex drive. I've been hurt very badly and denied affection because of it. I seem to be addicted to sex, particularly sex with men. I will go a long time only dating women, but eventually a man will walk into my life and I get caught up.

The man I'm in this awkward thing with has severe abandonment issues and has been sexually abused.

We both messed up. He withheld from me and I begged him not to , making him feel guilty and triggering some PTSD for him. I apologized for my role in this, but he broke things off from me and never said he was sorry.

I tried to emotionally distance myself from deleting him from my social media, but he kept reaching out to me and eventually I added him back. My empathy at seeing how tortured he's been from his issues makes me want to be his friend, but I do want more. I would be fine and eventually settle down as I'm about 500 miles away from him, but he keeps sending me explicit messages now (We're both poly. One of the problems I had with him was that he found someone close to him and started dating her. When he did this, our relationship became a friendship and stopped being sexual completely with only the teasing promises things would happen if I could see him). It's all about meeting his needs now though. If I respond in any manner that suggests I'm enjoying myself I stop hearing from him. I feel like he's punishing me. He won't let me leave and he says he doesn't know what he wants when I ask.

I'm unwilling to put conditions on him because I want to be with him, but this hurts so much. I don't know how to handle the pain.

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CKBlossom's picture
Feb 19, 2018

I think games as adults are exhausting, they are barely fun as teenagers.


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