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I'm lost, broken, confused, emotionally spent. I'm strugglin

I'm lost, broken, confused, emotionally spent. I'm struggling to accept that I let myself be in an emotionally verbally abusive marriage for 28 years, more than half my life. I still want to believe that his behavior is caused by some resentment he carries for some wong I have done. I need confirmation some evidence that this is real ands not the false perception of a broken mind.

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[65]
Aug 8

@2BreakingFree Thank you, I will journal, I used to journal and I fell away from it as I began to lose myself in trying to be the perfect wife by doing everything I though he expected of me. But since he would never actually verbalize what he expected this was an impossible task that I perpetually fell short of.

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[305]
Aug 8

I had that same problem. The only difference is he did verbalize what he wanted, then when I did what he wanted it was wrong, he would change his preference, and deny what he said before and act like I'm crazy for thinking he did. It was maddening.

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rtscd8's picture
[785]
Aug 10

What you are dealing with is very, very real. Regardless of why these things have happened in your life, they are not your fault. I don't know what specific "wrong you have done" as you said, but every single person has made mistakes, and that's not a reason for anyone to be abused. It can be really tough to sort through all of it on your own. Have you talked to anyone about this? I fought myself on seeing a therapist for years, thinking I could find all of the answers on my own. I realized I needed God, and I needed a professional who could help me understand the events that happened in my life so I could get past them in a healthy way. (If you're open to this, try out someone from this list https://bit.ly/2bYaQqv). Keeping you in my prayers!

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