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I'm lost, broken, confused, emotionally spent. I'm strugglin

I'm lost, broken, confused, emotionally spent. I'm struggling to accept that I let myself be in an emotionally verbally abusive marriage for 28 years, more than half my life. I still want to believe that his behavior is caused by some resentment he carries for some wong I have done. I need confirmation some evidence that this is real ands not the false perception of a broken mind.

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Aug 8

@2BreakingFree Thank you, I will journal, I used to journal and I fell away from it as I began to lose myself in trying to be the perfect wife by doing everything I though he expected of me. But since he would never actually verbalize what he expected this was an impossible task that I perpetually fell short of.

Aug 8

I had that same problem. The only difference is he did verbalize what he wanted, then when I did what he wanted it was wrong, he would change his preference, and deny what he said before and act like I'm crazy for thinking he did. It was maddening.

rtscd8's picture
Aug 10

What you are dealing with is very, very real. Regardless of why these things have happened in your life, they are not your fault. I don't know what specific "wrong you have done" as you said, but every single person has made mistakes, and that's not a reason for anyone to be abused. It can be really tough to sort through all of it on your own. Have you talked to anyone about this? I fought myself on seeing a therapist for years, thinking I could find all of the answers on my own. I realized I needed God, and I needed a professional who could help me understand the events that happened in my life so I could get past them in a healthy way. (If you're open to this, try out someone from this list Keeping you in my prayers!


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