Newest Blog is out, Today is a good day to have a good day!!!!
Make sure to click READ MORE to see the full article. -SG
https://www.supportgroups.com/blog/today-is-a-good-day-to-have-a-good-day or click BLOG on GREEN menu bar

i used to believe that physical abuse was the worst abuse bu

i used to believe that physical abuse was the worst abuse but I swear I’m at a point in this relationship where the emotional toll is breath taking. I’m not who I once was; frankly I don’t know if she still exists. When I got with my childhood crush three years ago I never imagined the horrors that this road would lead me down. Short story on his part is he is a severe drug addict. He is a narcissist. He is abusive in all ways. I won’t outline the full three years of hell. Fast forward to September of 2018, I took my children and left all my belongings and told him rehab was it or me. He said okay and 400 miles away I thought all my problems were solved. It just wasn’t ever just the drugs though. I convinced myself if the drugs go away all of the other bad traits which have become normal for me will fade away as well. It started small, slowly telling me he didn’t like when I wore make up. Finally I quit. He didn’t like for me to have my hair and nails done (he liked me natural). So I quit. He didn’t like when I dressed up everyday, I didn’t need to be fancy all the time. Right? So I quit. I convinced myself this was all in the name of love. Then the new focus was my friends, my life long friends. Why did I need to go out to dinner with them? Why do I need to have a drink if I peel myself away for one night? So I quit. Then it was my family. Why did I need to go hang out to my brothers? Or call my mother so often? So I quit. By now he has no shame. I am his prisoner. Every thing I do leads into a fight. Physical or emotional. It is every single day. I am the only one working. As he lost his job making 95,000 a year to do drugs. He has a son he isn’t allowed to see anymore. He does nothing but complain about all I do. I’m not allowed to touch my phone once I come home from work; period. If me and my children go outside to play he says I’m out there to see if our neighbors are outside. We don’t go do things. It isn’t just me suffering. I’m raising boys. Boys who have watched me be beaten, boys who have heard the most horrible things about me. I’m on our lease both of us. I’ve asked him to leave repeatedly to have all of hells fury come back to me. He says he will kill me if I ever leave. He says things like restraining orders don’t keep people out who want to harm other people. He says he will make my friends and family’s life hell. I believe him. I feel stuck. I’ve become dependent on the abuse and accepted it’s normal everyday occurrence. But I don’t want this anymore. I want him to move out and peacefully go out separate ways for the sake of my children. I simply don’t see an out in my life; that this could be forever. Recently all I do is dream of how he’s going to react if I leave; or have him taken out of the home. My constant anxiety is at an all time high. I’m walking my life on eggs shells; with no clue what to do.

show more ⇓
Comment
 3
Pestisor's picture
[18675]
Mar 15

The situation you are in ia just so bad...my days...he's horendous! He is clearly isolating you to keep you in control and the emotional and phisical abuse are for that because he knows you are better than him and he knows that you can do better than him.Like you are supporting him financially right now...yet he makes you to feel like you are the one dependemt on him,on his opinions and what he wants from you which is bs.The you sayd at first,with him telling you to be natural,no makeup,fancy clothes yada yada,has not that seemed sweet at first?It's so...like idk...I heard these things from my ex at the beginning...because we don't realize at the beggining how bad they are and can be that's why we end up stuck with a psycho like that in the end...but it seemed sweet,like oh,he loves me just the way I am,he is not superficial,he does not wants me to put on makeup,which is total bs.This is not the truth.He is jealous,whant's you not to get so much atention,a healty partner would tell you that he likes you natural,but you also look preety with makeup and if you like putting on makeup no problemo.I know that you have bigger issues with him than this...but idk if you can live like this for a lifetime because he is going to wear you down and then blame you because you are worn down...that's how they are....Maybe he can find another love interest and leave you.That would be the best.Like making it look like oh,he hurt your feelings,you can't get him back yada yada...these is the cleanest cut you can have woth this people,when they dsicard you to run like hell in the oposite direction but to act like you are so hurt because they discarded you.Are you two married?Have children togheter?You said that the house you bought is on both your names....but it the end if you are the only one who is working it meants that you pay for it all in the end no?It's your house in a way.Can't you get him evicted?

show more ⇓
Reply
LivingOnAPrayer's picture
[5740]
Mar 15

I am so sorry for the hell he is putting you and your children through. Do you have any time alone where you can start secretly putting things in a bag for your and your children, or is there someone outside of your home that you trust that could maybe hang onto some things for you? Can you put your kids in the car and act like you're going to school/work and go to a women's shelter? There must be some way to get you to safety and then try to proceed with getting him evicted once you're somewhere safe? I don't know what your options are, and they sound limited, but I hope you can find some way to get away from this terrible person.

Reply
[1105]
Mar 15

I am so, so sorry you are where you are. You need to find a way out, none of this is normal, healthy, or safe. From the time I was 16-21 I dated a guy who was so much like this. He told me what I could wear, where I could go, who I could talk to, even when I was going to have sex with him. Reading your post brought back so many terrible memories even though it has be 20 years for me. Please reach out to someone who can help you on a local level. A co-worker, a family member, a women's shelter..... Anyone who can help you to devise a plan to find safety. When you go to work make arrangements, get a disposable phone if you need to in order to plan things out. Please, please, please, know that you do not deserve or need to live like this. You are a beautiful, strong person who has been in a bad place for way too long. I will be praying for you as you take the steps you need in order to get you and your boys to a safe place....

Reply

Login or Register

You are visiting Support Groups as an anonymous user.

Please consider joining our community and gain access to additional features by

registering or logging into your account