I need to know if I am going through emotional abuse or if I

I need to know if I am going through emotional abuse or if I am being over sensitive.

I have started to wonder lately if this is how a marriage is meant to be or if this is how love is supposed to feel. I have started to go down a very confusing road. The night I started wondering was the night we were arguing and he told me that maybe it is all me. He told me that I made the wrong dinner that night because it took too long to make and I should’ve known that. The next night he told me he didn’t have any work clothes cleans and he shouldn’t have to worry about that because it’s a wife’s job. He has threatened to throw my things away when he’s mad. He tells me that my job is not as hard as his and that he works a lot harder than I do and that’s why I have to keep the house clean and make dinner every night. He has started telling me that I am changing and that I’m distant. And I have been lately because I’ve started to wonder if I’m happy here. He told me that he wants me to go back to normal. When he asked me why I’m being distant I told him that I need more affection and I need to feel like he cares about my day and what I have to say. He told me I was making it all about me and I didn’t care what he needed... he wanted to have sex last night and I didn’t. He got mad at me and said that’s what he needs. I’m just so confused. There is so much more that has happened and I thought it was ok but now I’m not so sure...

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[3205]
Dec 20

As the comment before says, you know him better than we do. However, I do believe he is just trying to manipulate you into going back. Always trust your gut. If you feel it is a trap, it more than likely is.

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brokenwings89's picture
[3630]
Dec 22

To me it sounds like a trap as well. He is trying to soften you. My ex would verbally abuse me and the next month be nice. This only lead to distort my reality and left me feeling like I was crazy to think that he could be abusive. In the end you learn not to trust your own judgement, which leads to more insecurities, which leads to you not having the will to stand up and defend yourself...been there, got a cupboard full of t-shirts. In the end I recorded our fights so that I could confirm to myself afterwards that he actually was being abusive and demeaning towards me. I pray that you will not have to walk that road. It is very difficult to start rebuilding your life from the emotional rubble

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[350]
Dec 22

@brokenwings89 I have started to record our arguments so I knew that I remembered them correctly and I could see that it is abusive and I wasn’t overreacting. He is very good at what he is doing.... he is even trying to spend more time with my parents and I think he is trying to get them to see he is changing... they want us to try counseling and I don’t think I want to.... I feel like I’ve given up but my parents still expect me to try...

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