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Feeling...overwhelmed, sad, lost and nothing at all at the s

Feeling...overwhelmed, sad, lost and nothing at all at the same time. Two years ago I looked at the world like a magical place full of wonder and life. Now it’s cold and scary and oh so lonely. I’m constantly told everything is my fault. If something hasn’t been done it’s soley my fault. I cannot work hard enough or do enough around the house even when he is not working. He constantly puts me down and makes me feel worthless. I am pregnant and not sure what to do or where to go. Can I leave? Should I leave? I just don’t know what to do.

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[1105]
Dec 12

It is so ironic that even though we are the ones facing the emotional abuse, we feel responsible for the well being of the abuser. My first relationship was like this, he was horrible, emotionally & physically but every time I tried to leave he would somehow find a way to guilt me into staying or coming back. This went on for many years...... It wasn't until I brought everything out in the open that I was able to find the strength I needed to leave. I was afraid to tell my family about the situation but once I did I found more support than I could have ever imagined. Hoping you can find the same support so you can find the peace and joy you deserve. I will be praying for you....

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[123650]
Dec 12

@Daisy6145 Welcome to SG!... I am truly sorry you’re feeling so hopeless and alone. I can so relate to back when I was married to a controlling, emotionally and verbally abusive, covert narcissist for 30 years. I was never as lonely, depressed, and miserable as I was in that marriage. He did nothing except criticize and put me down, which eroded all my confidence and self-esteem. He treated me like a worthless, incompetent child. I was so dependent on him that I never thought I could survive on my own. When I finally began to recover from years of severe depression, his control was threatened, and he abandoned me. I was left totally alone in a devastating and chaotic situation, from which I didn’t believe I’d survive. But I was determined not to let him destroy me, and that will energized me. Somehow, very slowly and one step at a time, I got through it. It turned out the experience was transforming, even though it has been a long and difficult healing process. But I am the opposite of the weak, needy, dependent person I used to be, and extremely grateful to have finally found the peace and freedom that we all deserve. You are expecting a new life, and you should feel the opposite of the way you’re feeling now. You should be looking at the world as a magical place, full of wonder and life. That is the feeling you should convey to your child, not that the world is a scary, cold, lonely place. I couldn’t stand the thought of you looking back over 30 years, and feeling as if your life had been stolen away. You deserve peace and happiness, and so does your child. You said your parents would support you leaving him. You are not alone, and we are always here to support you as well. This is how I feel about narcissistic emotional abusers now:

You are only responsible for yourself, and no one else, except your baby. You’re not responsible for the abuser. He is an adult who needs to be responsible for himself. Narcissistic abusers need to control everything and everyone like robots; isolate people, and control their emotions all the time, whether or not they’re physically present. That is a great deal of power to be able to control another person’s mood. With healing we gain awareness, and at this point in my healing, I’ve decided that I won’t allow anyone to affect or control my mood. It’s just not fair that if you’re in a happy mood and feeling good, that someone can make a critical remark, a judgment, or a negative opinion, and bring you down into depression or sadness. After they’re gone, you are still stuck in the negative state, and feeling badly. It’s like a hit and run, but with words (which are extremely powerful) instead of a vehicle. We should not let people have that much power and control over how we feel emotionally. Their opinions and judgments are not the Word of God!... If they have a pattern of constantly putting people down, and turning them against each other, we need to recognize that this is a red flag, and distance ourselves from that toxic person. Abusers are dangerous and they destroy lives; they care about no one except themselves. The severe narcissists do not change, and they deserve to wind up alone. I wish you the best of luck for the future!.......

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[123650]
Dec 12

@Daisy6145 I just wanted to add that you definitely should find a therapist or counselor who really understands narcissistic emotional abuse. Again, good luck!.......

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