Does anyone else when husband is yelling just want to escape

Does anyone else when husband is yelling just want to escape, I don’t mean like leave (I would but have no where I feel I can turn to) but like find the smallest possible space in the house and stay there (sort of like in a fetal position, but I’m to old and fat to pull that position off any longer.) I have hidden in closets and behind furniture. I need to escape but with in the confines of my own house. What doesn’t make sense to me is my house is my haven but at the same time the people in my house make it my living nightmare as well. I day Dream daily of me living here by myself. I just don’t know what to do. I’m Passive aggressive if I say anything at all. I hide in my bedroom 24/7 when home and seldom venture out. I’m an introvert and don’t like doing anything outside my house beside works and stores occasional. I find it impossible to do things with family or friends because I’m not comfortable leaving my house. Being in large groups can cause anxiety attacks but usually only if I’m expected to talk. Can anyone relate.

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Jan 14

You have been in a long term abusive marriage it sounds like , you walk on eggshells and your stomach aches when you here him drive up , you put dinner on table fast then clean up and hide in your room while he watches sports and falls asleep in front of tv , then you take a deep breath and are relieved that tonight is not the night he goes off again because each time it gets worse you can’t stick up for yourself because that will set him off , so you stay quiet and never voice your opinion or thoughts and you do this every day for 40 years until one day he puts you in hospital when he punches you in your sleep. Times up you have wasted your life
And have lived most all of your life in fear
Talking with other people will help so you will learn it’s not ok to fear your mate
This is my story and I now live alone with my dog and yes there are so many problems coping with daily living
But I am free to choose and am in charge of my life not controlled and bullied
I’m a good kind person with a lot of healing and therapy to do for the rest of my life . Freedom is a deep breath of clean air

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Jan 15

Luckily mine isn’t quiet that bad, my daily life isn’t impacted to much by it. I cook and clean on my schedule we fend for our own dinner, I don’t walk on eggshells unless he’s having a tantrum and seldom do I worry about physical abuse (except when I hit his truck). He is all mental head games when he’s angry and treating me like I’m not his equal or with any respect. I’ve dealt with this for 30+ years this is my normal a normal others just can understand . Your right I don’t stand up for myself. Never have. There is any kind of conflict I bolt I hide in my shell, I withdrawal. That’s on me.

Jan 18

Dear Fernanna,

Yes, I have really wanted to leave when my husband is yelling and/or being disrespectful. I also understand that it is hard to leave. In these situations you have choices to make. It sounds like you have made the choice to stay so the next choice that comes up is how are you going to deal with it?

You seem to have determined that curling up in the closet is not a good way to handle the situation but facing your husband may be difficult. Earplugs may or may not be the best answer. I also learned that my husband’s yelling could control me and determined that I was going to find a way to keep that from happening. The book “Boundaries” is really very helpful. I didn’t really know what was appropriate and what to expect from the marriage relationship since I hadn’t grown up with good examples of healthy relationships. But I knew that what was happening was not what I wanted. Next step was WHAT CAN I DO ABOUT IT?

I tried not talking and just ignoring him, I tried talking softly so he had to quieten down to hear what I was saying and that just made things worse. I don’t know what will work for you but I do know that you seem to feel something has got to change. I am praying for you to find the solution. Here is a list of numbers at you can call to find someone maybe a therapist who can help. Feel free to reply. I will be glad to “listen” and pray. You are precious and there are good things waiting out there for you. Today is the first day of the rest of your life and you shouldn’t have to live it in your closet.

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