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I've totally cut off my ex. Totally. However. He used to be

I've totally cut off my ex. Totally. However. He used to be a customer where I work and due to us breaking up he closed his account. (I would have treat him as any other customer so there was no real need but he can't behave like an adult truth be told and has spat his dummy out - initially refusing to pay his 9k bill.) But he's chipped some away from this, this morning so there's the positive. Credit where it is due paying bills to anyone at all he doesn't miss a beat in general and never rips anyone off. However, he's doing his best to persuade our customers to go else where. To use different products to what we stock. To ruin our business. Additionally, he has 2 brothers. Brother 1 has his own business but would do work for him also. But as he was also doing his own work my ex tried to run him off the road, spat at him, threatened to burn his house down. Brother 2 was still working for him but also helped out brother 1 recently, so my ex chased him with a knife. Although I am not stupid I know his actions are not my fault but it has all stemmed from us breaking up and I cannot shake the feeling of responsibility which is really dragging me down. He's violent and trying to not just ruin my job but the livelihood of everyone I work with, It will be ruined if he succeeds in what he is trying to do. I hear his name and feel physically sick and totally regretful of ever getting into the relationship at all. How was I so oblivious to this side of his personality? I at one time loved him and I can't even describe how I feel. Embarrassed, betrayed, angry... All I know is there's nothing positive. I'm just praying it all passes before it breaks me totally (and possibly others with his actions).

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Oct 12

@Suzanneh Thank you I will have a look at that section. Honestly I'm not sure how I feel about reporting him to any form of officials. I found out over time how he is involved with some dangerous people (how I have had a relationship with him without knowing all of this I honestly can't say it all came crashing in my face towards the end and its embarrassing how blind and naïve I was). It makes me nervous even to write on here just in case he or a friend of his sees something.

Oct 12

How u r feeling is completely normal when u think about what uve been through. The important thing is ur seeking support, knowledge and validation. It is all a process and each of us r at a different points in that process. I am glad u r here and that u found this SG. Be kind to urself. Perception means a lot, negative self talk-negative thoughts will be ur enemy from within. U were a target and r now creating ur own survivor story. Hugs u r not alone

JayniB's picture
Oct 13

I'm somewhat concerned about his potential for violence and if you are too you should definitely at least report to law enforcement in case things escalate. I'm especially concerned because of how afraid you are of him. But you should also take the higher road. Others will be able to see his actions and I doubt very much his business practices will prosper him. Don't be ashamed for loving someone. It's okay, you can learn and move on.


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