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So, my ex and I were on Xbox the other day and we decided to

xXBeautifully-CorrodedXx's picture

So, my ex and I were on Xbox the other day and we decided to go to bed on the headsets. But about an hour after laying down I decided that I'm going to get off my headset because it started acting weird. So I left the party and then I texted him through my tablet Xbox app that I need him to send me an invite because I left the party. I knew he was sleeping but I didn't know how deep in sleep he was. So, I said but if you don't see this until you wake up I hope you have a good night and I hope you sleep well.

So, all the sudden I get messages at 3 in the morning with him telling me that I'm lame for leaving him in the Party by himself. And I told him to check my message because I sent him a message asking for an invite back to the party. He ends up inviting me through the Xbox app to a tablet party and I explained to him what happened. But he was really upset. And I mean like this seems like he was overly upset about the situation. And after he managed to calm down a little bit we started talking about other things.

We got on the topic of APB the game and scammers that are on the game. And he said that he would never do that to someone after making a joke about doing it. And when he said that he would never do it I pointed out how he actually has said that he wanted to do it to somebody out of Revenge when he was super angry after being scammed and being treated like crap by people he thought we're his friends.

And all because I said that, as true as it is, he went into a rage saying that I'm trying to make him look like a bad person and he's questioning why I'm trying to make him look like a bad person. And I told him I wasn't trying to make him look like a bad person, that I was just trying to point out that he actually has said those things. And I wasn't saying it to get a rise out of him, I just wanted to mention it and then I thought maybe he was going to respond like "really? I've done that? And then that we were going to talk about it and hopefully it would make him be like oh my God why did I ever get that angry. I should not have said that and I will swear that I won't ever do that even when I'm mad". That's what I was thinking was going to happen. But like I just mentioned that's not what happened. So then he wouldn't drop it and kept saying that that's what I was trying to make him look like, a bad guy. And I eventually was like I don't even want to talk about this anymore I need to go to bed I have work in the morning,

So, I laid down and he was talking and then he stopped talking. I didn't say anything about it because I was like he got distracted and I had my tablet behind my head because I didn't want to see the light. And then all of a sudden a few minutes later I get messages saying that I'm rude AF and that I'm disrespectful as hell. And I asked him what was he talking about, but at this point I realized that the party failed on my tablet. And he said that I knew what he was talking about and that I need to stop acting clueless. So I got to a party with him after I had to restart my app because the app said that I had an error code -1 and that I had to have the app restarted. So after having restarted the app I joined his party and I tell him that my app crashed and I had to restart it.

But he didn't believe me. He started calling me a liar and saying that I knew what I did and that I was acting clueless. So, I'm pretty sure sometime after trying to convince him that I didn't leave on purpose, what you was very sure that I did, I got frustrated and I called him an ass-whole because he just kept saying that I was a liar even though I was telling the truth. And when you called me out on it I admitted to him that he was right in that I was wrong and I should have done it.
And I got quiet for a few minutes because I didn't know what to say after that. And then he started saying that I got quiet so basically it was like he was rubbing it in my face that I knew I was wrong so I shut up. And I had responded that I just don't want to argue any more about the situation.

And he kept going. He kept saying that I was a liar and he basically said it was because I had done things in the past like this. Which I'll be honest in the past I used to leave when I got angry. This was in the beginning of our relationship sometime between when it first started until the two/ two and a half year mark. But I don't do that anymore because I said that I wanted to work on myself. So, I probably haven't done that type of behavior in over a year? And if I have it was probably one time. And when I would leave the party in the past I would tell him that I did leave because I was angry and I couldn't manage myself.

But what bothers me is that I haven't done it in for so long besides that one thing that I think maybe I have done recently. And I'm pretty sure if I did do it I apologize because that's what I'm trying to work on. But the main thing that I'm bothered by here is that he just kept calling me a liar and didn't believe me and then kept using our past together, my past of my behavior, against me saying that if I did it in the past why would I not do it again? And I started to tear up and he heard me and I had to choke back the tears because he started getting mad at me for getting ready to cry periods that he's making me feel bad about starting to cry and telling me that I need to stop acting like whatever he was trying to tell me I was acting like in the fact that he hated that I was starting to cry. So after choking back the tears I eventually just told him that I didn't want to argue about this anymore and that he could believe that I was a liar if he wanted to and that I just wanted to go to bed now. And he kept going and I told him that he can believe whatever he wanted I just wanted to go to bed. And this lasted for a few minutes. And then things got quiet and I told him that I didn't want to stay in the party anymore to sleep on the mic basically with him and I told him that I would just talk to him in the morning. He never responded to me so I left the party.

And I think I sat there for 25 minutes just thinking about what happened and trying to sit with the negative emotions without crying. And then I got a message from him saying that he was just mad at me because I hadn't talked to him as much as he wanted me to while he was going through his illness. But this was the second time that he got mad supposedly over the fact that I didn't talk to him but using it in a different situation. Cuz we had just got into a fight the day before this about something and then it turned out it was about the same thing.

So what do I do? Am I just supposed to be blamed entirely for stuff that happens now based off of past behavior that I used to do? Am I never supposed to let that be lived down? Because I thought that when people were making progress and they haven't done a certain kind of behavior, even if they have like a relapse in the behavior, that they're supposed to be commended for the behavior not have happened in so long. If that makes sense. Am I just supposed to Forever be made to feel like because I made mistakes in the past that when I make that same mistake in my future even if it hasn't happened in for so long, that I have to live with being treated like I do it all the time and like I'm a liar,? I'm feeling like crap right now. I'm not going to lie.

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xXBeautifully-CorrodedXx's picture
Jul 11

@L2015 he's kind of been like this since we started dating. And he has made changes but it's not enough to wear I don't have to feel like the bad days are really bad, you know? And I just told him yesterday that he and I should stop talking because I'm not enjoying our relationship anymore. And he went into another age and basically said that I haven't made as many attempts to fix our problems in a relationship as he thinks I can, and then said that he thinks that I need to change my habits and some other stuff about me. So I pointed out to him today that he just didn't take responsibility for anything that he's done in basically told me that I'm the one who has to make changes. And I don't think that's fair. Every time we try to end things he talks like that.

xXBeautifully-CorrodedXx's picture
Jul 11

@L2015 I'm also very sorry that my pulse is really long. I just really needed to give people a back story. And enough information.

Jul 12

I'm glad you're setting limits with him. You deserve to not be regularly hurt by this guy. Also, the long story was interesting, so no worries.


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