WELCOME TO OUR “BUILD US UP” BOOTCAMP POST. On This Thread We Specifically Focus On Healing.

From Melanie Tonia Evans’ “Healing From Narcissistic Abuse By Loving Yourself And Taking Responsibility:”

“I showed an example of recognising my UNHEALED PARTS that allowed my abuse to take place.
I started with my own list of reasons as to why I got hooked in a narcissistic relationship.
These reasons were integral parts of my personality which existed before my narcissistic relationship:

1. I was not whole or happy within myself
2. I always needed some accomplishment or someone ‘loving me’ to feel okay about myself
3. I was unresolved over previous relationships and had not accepted or healed my unhealed parts that showed up within these painful relationships
4. I had never learnt how to love and accept myself unconditionally ‘just for being me’
5. I believed I was only lovable for what I could produce
6. I was never able to just ‘be’ without being obsessive/compulsive and thinking about ‘what I should be doing’
7. I found it very hard to treat myself nicely, nurture or value myself
8. I was my own worst critic rather than knowing how to speak to myself lovingly and supportively
9. I could not accept compliments easily and believe I deserved them
10. I could not let people into my life without fearing they had agendas or would control me
11. I was suspicious of other people, I didn’t know if I could trust myself to honour me and lay BOUNDARIES and walk away rather than relying on someone else to ‘love me’ and validate my worth.
The list goes on and on, and the truth was I could write 10 pages.”

Please Read The Above List Carefully, And Choose Which Of These Unhealed Wounds Applied To You, Before You Met Your Narcissist, So That We May Discuss Them. Thank You!......

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Mar 13

This is a very insightful thread. I can relate to every single word. It hurts admitting that. Years ago my therapist had me close my eyes and repeat in my head, "my parents will never accept me." Man, that was a hard thing to do. Still hard thinking about, especially as I'm new to figuring all of this out. And as painful as all of this is to read, I know I need to. I want to push it away and pretend this isn't my life, that I'm not married to a narc. But I am. It's not just going to go away. :(

Mar 13

@mariab44, How about this, "My parents will never accept me; and it isn't my fault. They're incapable."

Mar 13

@Scat Yes. I need to say that, and repeatedly, as much as it hurts. Thank you. It isn't my fault is something I need to remind myself of constantly.


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