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I need coping techniques. He acts as if nothing happened an

acadia0012's picture

I need coping techniques. He acts as if nothing happened and as if he couldn’t care less if we get a divorce. He is spending time with the kids all happy today while I am making appointments with divorce lawyers and therapists. I am fuming and can’t stand to be in the same room with him.
I want to scream at him, seriously. And I have totally lost it before with him a few times.
How do you cope going through this while they act as if nothing is wrong? Please any tips before I explode.

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Nov 11

@acadia0012 Is there anyway you could tape him talking to the girls that way without him knowing?

Nov 11

You sound like how I felt for the past two years. One way I dealt with it was posting about what happened here. I grew up in a family that demanded I keep abuse secret and keeping in all in for decades made me raging mad at any new injustice.

I think it bothers you that he is enjoying time with the kids and acting like a good parent while you are dealing with the necessities of the divorce. Narcs are good at pretending to be good and letting their own crimes roll off their backs. The thing I try to remember during times of frequent aggrvation is that whether you approach a task in anger or a better mood usually does not affect the outcome. I live with a narc who screams and curses non-stop whenever there is financial pressure. So I decide to keep working at my job that I enjoy not let the narc rob me of the good things in my present life. Whatever happens in the future, you will look back and see that you life was happy or sad. Try not to let the narc take every moment of your life from you even when he his not in the room. I still get angry sometimes but it doesn't last as long if you remember the way to win is to be not let him choose your mood and lifestyle. And a narc is never as carefree as they seem, it's a mask for that black hole of self doubt that's eating them alive on the inside. I always feel that the more someone flaunts their happiness the more depressed and insecure they are.

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Nov 12

I am sorry that you are going through this difficult time in life. Ending a marriage can be emotionally trying regardless of the circumstances. Everyone copes differently. The grieving process is not a straight line. Reach out to the people around you for support – family, friends, local pastor. I would suggest seeing the therapist you mentioned in your post. Therapy sessions are a safe place to sort through what happened and your feelings about your marriage. Is there any hope for reconciliation? I will be praying for you. Love and hugs.


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