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I keep waking up feeling like I'm gonna puke up my guts out.

PeppermintSunrise's picture
[17040]

I keep waking up feeling like I'm gonna puke up my guts out. I know I have CPTSD and I tend to get so nervous that I get nauseated when waking up in this house. And I assume this time this is what triggered it: I slept and woke up in the living room which I can never do in peace because shes obnoxious. I'm trying to clean up my stuff and take it back to my room and she signals me to step back from the door because I was wearing my underwear and a cami and her married guy friend was at the door. My thing is he was waiting outside this long as why not stay there and make me travel to the kitchen just so you can open the door and leave because you did want him to see me. This is my house to I mean I just made dinner 2 days ago. Respect and protect me that much to tell him to wait outside. She has been doing **** like this since my childhood minus what I wore: she exposed me to prostitution and other stupid sh*t that shows her character and she truly does not care. I am just thank no one has touched me. She feels as long as she knows them as well as she thinks she knows them that they'll never try anything. How can you be that **** comfortable? One of your own grown man friends touched his own wife's daughters a** while he was high, granted she was I'm her 30s but I'm 24 going on 25. And my mom had the audacity to feel bad for HIM! I have therapy today is all I can remind myself.

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[13755]
Jun 4

@PeppermintSunrise I can relate on some things, mainly not having any healthy functioning family that I could turn to most of them are doing drugs or drinking or both. And like you they wilk never understand. I've also tried and tried years ago to have some kind of relationship but every time I did it made me sick even if I would let a lot of time pass then try again it would be the same thing. I feel for you not having at least one family member to turn to. Some years a go I had a few family members like my grandparents but now I don't think even one. If I did ever need to lean on one of them I would have to put up with chaos of some kind so in other words it would be a high price to pay to get any family support.

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[331580]
Jun 5

How'd therapy go, Sweets?

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[331580]
Jun 5

Never mind. Imma text you.

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