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Having a bit of a moment. Not sure if this is her gaslightin

PeppermintSunrise's picture
[17050]

Having a bit of a moment. Not sure if this is her gaslighting me but I made dinner and she says "I'm so happy you can cook, I wont have to worry of starving when I'm old." Then she said something laughing saying "well not that you're gonna live with me forever" and it just really really sent this dizzy heavy and chilling feeling down my body and now I wanna cry. Lord help me, I want to scream so badly. I've been doing well, just super sleepy and tired from her, her energy her words. SO TOXIC AND DRAINING! I can not leave right now in any way, I'm mentally working my way to gaining the skills to simply cope with what I'm feeling here at home and how to remain present knowing I cant leave yet. But hearing her say that made me feel physically sick. Just ranting and venting. Her fake happy voice is like nails on a chalkboard to my inner child. I dont like living with so much anger and sadness and rage for her but god knows it's hard NOT to feel all of it. I know one day I'll be on my own and at peace with my life and emotions/mind. For now I just wanna punch a wall.

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[460]
Sep 17

Start getting yourself mentally prepared to leave. That's the first step. Once you feel confident, start making a plan. Reach out to family. I'm 37 years old and had to ask my dad for help to get away from my narc. Use the department of mental health for resources if you need to. They have many programs and facilities for victims of domestic violence or intimate partner abuse. Let them help you.

When you have alone time in the house, start packing important items like paperwork, and sentimental stuff like baby books and photographs. As you're packing have someone store your boxes or bags at their house or in a storage unit until you can leave. Trust me, it's better to remove your things before you leave because most narcs will not let you back in not will they let you take anything from the house.

Pack your clothes and other items the day you plan to leave and not before so they don't have a clue what's going on. I had to be sneaky to leave but it paid off because I only had to leave once, never to return.

My narc was so surprised when he noticed I was leaving because he literally didn't know until the moment I walked out the door with my bags packed.

If course, he accused me of stealing things so he could continue to contact me. Dumb stuff too.... like saying I took the salt and pepper shakers and a pair of safety glasses. I literally only took my clothes, mail, and work stuff. I left everything else behind...

I had to go get dishes and pots and pans, and silverware, etc. I literally left with only what I needed to survive.

In your planning, don't tell the narc and don't tell anyone that doesn't need to know. The element of surprise is the best way to catch your narc off guard and to make a clean break.

Keep posting your updates! I want to see you get out of this.

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StreaksDarkAngel's picture
[16125]
Sep 17

I had a died in the wool blue meanie toxic narc mother. But it took a good looking snake after she passed to teach me what was wrong. Realizing she was a narcissist (textbook narc mother) set me free because I realized her outlook on life was something that had nothing to do with me. Own only what you are responsible for. There's little to nothing you can do when someone chooses to be one.

"you weren't a difficult child, your mom just wasn't interested in being a mom"

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