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The Following Is This Week's "Life Hack" From Team SG:
TOPIC: "LOVE, FINDING IT AND WHEN TO LET IT GO."
Many of you may be eating leftover Valentine Chocolates today, while others among you may have skipped the Cupid Holiday all together. Many of us lean towards the whole, WHO CARES when it comes to Valentines, but we do care very much about love. All of us want to be loved by someone, even if it isn’t romantic love, to be cared about is what we all want most in life. In all fairness to Maslow and his Hierarchy of Needs, a roof over our head, food and some money in the bank are GREAT as well, but LOVE ranks really high on most of our lists!
We spend a great deal of time trying to find love, we nurture our friendships, we go out on dates, we try to be smart and brave about love, we read books on it, we join Support Groups regarding relationships and loneliness, so why is it so hard to find? Also, once it is found, how do you ever manage to let it go? This week’s Life Hack is about just that, “Love, Finding it and When to Let it go.”
"I'm in love with you, and I'm not in the business of denying myself the simple pleasure of saying true things. I'm in love with you, and I know that love is just a shout into the void, and that oblivion is inevitable, and that we're all doomed and that there will come a day when all our labor has been returned to dust, and I know the sun will swallow the only earth we'll ever have, and I am in love with you.”
-John Green, The Fault in Our Stars
Most of you who are reading this Life Hack have probably experienced love in your life-- that brilliant, heartbreaking emotion-- at least once. It could have been young love or the love between student and mentor. It could be parental love or the love between spouses. Regardless of the type of love it was or is, it is beautiful and terrifying, because when we love someone, truly love them, we can’t help but fear a time when we won’t be able to love them.
We spend a great deal of time trying to find love, and some feel they are unlucky when it comes to love, so is love possible for everyone? We feel it is, there are so many forms of love, that living without it is often self inflicted, not a torture inflicted by the Universe. We understand that finding and holding on to love is not easy, not by a long shot, but it IS worth searching for.
If you are seeking:
Don’t allow technology to cloud your perspective, love isn’t a job application and while we are not against dating sites in the slightest, finding love and friendship the “old fashioned way” should not be discounted. Asking your friends and family to play matchmaker or friend maker is not a bad idea. It is actually a wonderful notion as they know you and the other person and ideally have both of your best interests at heart.
Attend single events in your city or through your religious center, go to events where other people are looking to make friendships or meet a potential date; art openings, poetry readings, classes, meet the author, events where mingling is expected....
If you are grieving the loss of someone you loved:
Inevitably relationships fail. Lovers and friends pass away. The circle of life is often cruel. What we encourage you to do is not give up on yourself, this can be a soul crushing experience, it can feel like a shackle that binds you to a moment in time that you can’t seem to move past, but you must find the will to move forward. Nothing can prepare you for loss, there are books and courses, but until it hits you, you don’t know how you will react. What you must do is continue to live and learn to be thankful for the love you had, treasure it and desire to find a measure of it again with someone else.
If you are in a relationship that has soured or are going through a divorce or breakup:
Relationships that once were perfectly healthy and loving can become something that is no longer healthy and filled with love. A member in our divorce group posted a question, wondering (we are paraphrasing here) whether it made him foolish or too humble if he and his Ex Wife decided to remain friends even though she is marrying again and he is with someone else. Love doesn’t just end when a relationship does, it should be your aim to remain friendly and at the very least, cordial, with someone you once loved. When you realize that a relationship or friendship no longer serves either of you well, it is the most mature and loving thing you can do to end things before they get ugly and two people who once loved each other, can no longer be cordial.
“We’re all a little weird. And life is a little weird. And when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall into mutually satisfying weirdness—and call it love—true love.”
-Robert Fulghum, True Love
Remember, don’t give up on the notion of love, we see true expressions of love everyday on www.supportgroups.com, so if you can’t feel it, you aren’t looking close enough.
Wishing you all the best-