My dad calls me selfish and entitled all the time and I crin
My dad calls me selfish and entitled all the time and I cringe every time he calls me that. Every time he sees me doing something for myself and doesn’t help him, he calls me selfish. Then, he tries to guilt trip me by saying all these things he’s done for me and I couldn’t even do something for him. Like it makes me feel so bad but at the same time, I feel like he’s so self-centered that anything I do for myself, even if it’s minor, he says I’m selfish. Yet, he always says I need to learn to take care of myself. I don’t get it. Whenever I make a decision for myself, he calls me selfish for not helping him or doing something for him.
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@Blueberries1234 totally true, the narcissist does all these, yet disgustingly they shift + re-direct all this onto us. It's like they are talking to a mirror, yet they will claim they are not doing it, it's the "mirror" that is the issue not him/her. their favourite to victimized themselves so they do not need to change =/. sigh.. so disgusting and dark. yet all supporters, supports them not us
Doodle1234
Doodle1234
[68580]
It is what it is.…
(68580)
Jun 3
@illuqrium. Thats a really good point. Even when they're angry, they're just projecting onto us. So in a way, we arent there. Another reason we feel "invisible". We feel unworthy of theur love, because they only love us when we do something for them, and when they're angry, they do it because we arent doing what they need... all people in their life are shadows. We are not there. And if you experuence that invisibility since childhood, the damage is real. One good thing about your realization, could be that---it's just them. Not us. I stopped looking for validation from strangers or friends long ago. Just remember, expect love from the people who are capable of giving it. Narcs cant self reflect, expect nothing. Just expect them to be as disabked ad they are. It saved my sanity, not expecting the motherly love that can never come.
@Blueberries1234 yea, their love is like giving candies to a kid. it's a "earn your reward" kind of love, but when they tell strangers, they say otherwise. and yea, to us, it is gaining validation, to them is not, it's us wanting to show-off some of what they presume as some mere skills and we are the ones trying to make a mountain out of a mole hill, not them. sigh.., but really great and felt a little bit more where i belong here in this support group..., sharing our pains that are somewhat similar, facing the very same "monster" here, where people really empathized with rather than being heavily judged upon in our real world out there.
