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Has anyone listened to podcasts or YT videos of Melanie Toni

Yankeegirl71's picture
[10405]

Has anyone listened to podcasts or YT videos of Melanie Tonia Evans? I am on day 3 of NC and I’m trying to feel better, but I’m still anxious. As much as I wish it weren’t true I was his victim and he never cared about me..it’s all fake. The call me when you get home, including me in family functions, etc. Not only did he gaslight me, but he used triangulation which I just realized today. And then he acted like the 3rd person was normal, etc..Got so sick of the drama and push-pull. I’m glad to get rid of him even though it sucks right now, I know it will get better eventually.

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[460]
Sep 17

@CL061 I have to agree. Anything you say in your defense gives the narc the fuel they need. The narc is going to say things that are disrespectful, untrue, and belittling. They do this to try and rake the coals, to make the fire bigger, until it's so out of control that everything is burning. I'm being dramatic, but that's what it feels like.

You'll be upset, hurt, angry, and emotional. The narc will tell you they didn't mean it or you're being overly sensitive, and they'll turn things on you to make you feel like you're wrong and need to apologize.

Practice grey rock if you're still living together. Go no contact as soon as you move out. Don't make apologies because you're not wrong. Just say "I'm sorry you feel that way" or " you can think whatever you want of me, that's your right" and then walk away. Don't respond to the multiple text messages and phone calls. Act like you can't hear your phone or actually just turn it off. Heck, get a new number if you must.

Avoid all interactions that include other people associated with the narc, who give their opinions about your behavior when they don't truly understand what's going on. Likely because you're both being triangulated by the narc. They do this to keep their supply fresh and highly intoxicating for themselves.

Avoid. Avoid. Avoid. Ignore. Ignore. Ignore.

Make a plan to leave and keep it to yourself. Don't tell anyone that doesn't need to know. Pack your bags. Save your money. Then leave!

Good luck, you can do this!

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Yankeegirl71's picture
[10405]
Sep 17

@CL061 yikes that’s so true

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Yankeegirl71's picture
[10405]
Sep 17

@Rchl781 We don’t live together. I haven’t reached out and neither has he. My therapist did point out today that he does things with no regards to my feelings..I can’t forgive him. He made my teenage son cry. It was mean, I left his house as he made a big deal out of something minor. He couldn’t drop it. Said I was being soft! He has no kids but he expects kids to respect him when he acts like a ****! He even said he doesn’t have to like me but he will respect me. What???? I never brought my son to his house again. And he wants kids??? He’s not fit to be a dad.

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