I hate living here with my dad and the constant micromanagin

(9710)
Mar 13 in Emotional Abuse, Narcissist, Depression

I hate living here with my dad and the constant micromanaging and controlling behaviors going on. He's also very overprotective. It's gotten to the point where I hate waking up knowing I have to deal with him again. He yells at me for every tiny little thing and wants to know everything that's going on in my life. I feel like I have no privacy, no freedom, no anything. It's so suffocating. I've been seeing a therapist that helps with after-college stuff like moving out, finding jobs, money management etc. They think it's better for me to get a part-time job since they think with everything I had to go through, I'll be too stressed out doing a full-time job. I'm fine with a part time job, the thing is I really want to move out. I don't know if I'll be able to find somewhere decent with just a part time job. My dad also through a huge fit when I mentioned I was thinking about moving out a few years ago. He said things like, "I wouldn't be able to survive on my own" and that "I was still a kid that didn't know anything" etc. I can't have him controlling me like this anymore. I also don't have my own car so that's also a problem. I have to tell him I'm going out with friends whenever I go out or else he won't let me go. He wants to know where I'm at and who I'm with at all times when I'm outside the house. If I don't tell him, he won't let me go or he'll start blowing up my phone asking me these things if I do manage to get out of the house without them knowing. How do I deal with my dad without going crazy if I can't move out? He still treats me like a little kid.

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(34805)
Mar 17

Try to do everything he wants you to do ahead of time. If he wants you to tell him where you are going then just tell him, who cares right? If that's all he wants just try to look at it like eh no big deal and stay in the habit of letting him know. I tell my son where I'm going all the time no big deal. Try to think of it like that because really who cares if he knows right? I understand what you are saying about him being controlling and putting you down saying you couldn't make it on your own. Well even if that were true why does he need to turn it into an insult because a lot of younger people aren't ready to be on there own there's nothing "wrong" with that. Your dad is very negative its really too bad because he could have a much better relationship with you. The best thing for you to do at this time is try to tweak your thinking around to make things easier on you. Play by his rules the best you can so you can have more peace.

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(9710)
Mar 18

@Fohb460 Yeah, but it's not like he just wants to know where I'm going. He wants to know who I'll be with, what time I'll get back etc. I don't even see how that's necessary at this age. Like I usually don't even know what time I'll be back or where I'll be going. He asks this every time I go out and it gets annoying since I always hang out with the same people at the same places. I'm getting so tired of him asking me this every time. Feels so controlling and overprotective.

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(34805)
Mar 18

@KFH520 it probably is controlling and over protective. I'm just suggesting that you try to look at it differently so that you can deal with it mentally because he isn't going to stop. The only thing you can do is look at it differently, you know like how sometimes we will do what our boss or parent says just to shut them up? That's what I'm talking about. Do whatever you can to not rock the boat even though it sucks.

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