Good News, our newest "Life Hack" is out, click BLOG to check it out!!!! ****"Getting up, even when you don’t want to"**** HINT: when you click https://www.supportgroups.com/blog, make sure to click READ MORE to see the full article. We are working on making this more intuitive. -SG

I'm ashamed to even write this. I feel guilt, shame, sadness

Maria199's picture
[11960]

I'm ashamed to even write this. I feel guilt, shame, sadness, anger. I know I will get comments that will judge me and im sorry. I just want to die. On Saturday I had my first abortion ever. I was pro-life till last week when everything changed. I never thought ill be in this position so soon. I obtained my masters and have many loans up to the $95,000 and I am having a hard time finding a job still, which came to my decision. My BF has a great job but he cannot afford me, himself, and the baby. he also lives far (suburbs) and I cannot drive there because I don't drive because I live in a city where I use public transportation. we both agreed that having a medical abortion was best. it was heartbreaking because we wanted kids together. it was a difficult decision which has had me depressed and full of guilt. he supported my decision and so we went along he came with me and was supportive even tho we were both upset and sad. I was on birth control but it did not work at the time.

4 days after the abortion I am here recovering (I did a medical abortion - pill) yesterday my BF completely lost it and called me a 'baby killer' and blamed me for everything and said I 'killed his child' and it was all my fault even though it was OUR decision. idk how u can say that to a woman who is going through so much already. he kept saying I wasn't there for him. but the entire weekend I was trying to be there and kept telling me to open up because being quiet isn't good for him but he said 'its about u right now and u recovering' he took care of me all weekend and then he said that. I can't believe someone could say such hurtful things to a woman who is hurt physically and emotionally. he then continue to attack my personal life and say "at least I have my own career and u don't" "at least I have friends and u don't" and called me a "b**tch" multiple times.

I am hurting both because of this pregnancy that is gone and him hurting me and going back on his word. I don't know to do but I don't want to be abused any longer. I want to heal. all he wants to do is argue and say hurtful things to me. I thought he was being so supportive and now I feel alone and depressed. not sure if he is angry but even if he has anger this was a decision we made together why be so cruel and evil and say such nasty things. :(

show more ⇓
Comment
 63
View 60 More Comments
Blueberries1234's picture
[24600]
May 28

You can also talk to nurses about how to have access to counselling through the hospital for helping you cope with your emotions. Even people who are "pro-choice", or have accidental miscarriages can experience these feelings. Did you kbow, that since abortion was legalized crime went down? Because a lot of the kids who are born end up going into the care of the childrens aid society because their parents go through mental illness and become incapable of taking care of their child. Some begin abusing alcohol or simply become so depressed the child is neglected and taken away. These kids end up in the foster care system and sometimes end up on the streets. May begin to steal or become pimps or sex workers. Reality. No child asks to be born. If people were responsible theyd realize their limitations about raising a child in the moment. Everyone wants to have a baby, but few want to raise an adult.

Reply
Maria199's picture
[11960]
May 28

@SummerW thank you so much! I have already started my recovery journey and I go to a great one-on-one counselor and support group :)

Reply
Maria199's picture
[11960]
May 28

@Blueberries1234 thank you so much!!! I have already started my recovery journey and I see a counselor and attend a support group which has been so great for me. I have been happier and more accepting of my decision.

Reply

Login or Register

You are visiting Support Groups as an anonymous user.

Please consider joining our community and gain access to additional features by

registering or logging into your account