I feel trapped and stressed. Or depressed even. I hope that

brokenwings89's picture
[4275]

I feel trapped and stressed. Or depressed even. I hope that I will see him, and yet I pray that I won't. Our divorce is almost final, only the reconciliation-order remains. I don't want him back. I don't want to ever face the emotional abuse again. But I struggle to let go. To make peace with being single again. This is confusing. I wish I Could emigrate or run and hide. But I realize that I would be trying to hide from myself and my emotions. Any advice on what to do will be most welcome

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brokenwings89's picture
[4275]
Feb 14

@FutureFreedom1
My advice would be to have good boundaries, and stick to them. Raise the standard if how you will allow people to treat you, and stick to them. Don't do what I did. I never learned how to stand up for myself, and I was under the impression that to sacrifice myself,my all, that is what love is...boy oh boy, and I was taken for a ride. Learned the hard way

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[770]
Feb 15

@brokenwings89 I hear you. This is what I talked to my counselor about yesterday, is ;setting healthy boundaries. I never had a problem with this until I got married, because like a lot of women, I gave my all to him and sacrificed a little too much. Not that sacrificing is a bad thing, and we should all be submissive to one another at times, but you have to have healthy boundaries. I lost a little bit of myself in the shuffle and no I am learning to have my own life again. Learning to balance roles is harder than I thought it would be. Marriage has taught me a lot about life and myself.

We even did premarital counseling with our pastor which was very helpful, took in depth personality test and everything so we might know what our struggles could be so we can be aware and work on them. I wish we would have had more sessions BEFORE we were married.

I can tell you that I am happy that I am going to counseling alone. It has helped me so much. Anyone who thinks they don't need it is lying to themselves. We don't put enough effort into mental/emotional health as a society. It's sad.

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[32095]
Feb 15

@brokenwings89, so sorry for your plight. I really think, from the story you tell, he may be gay or bi. The important thing is you're working on making your life better for you and getting healthier. I'm blessed by your strength.

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