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I just threw up my dinner on purpose. I thought I'd stopped

briannabean's picture
[2615]

**trigger**

I just purged my dinner. I thought I'd stopped this but it's back now. Nobody's around to hear me doing it, the opportunity was just too tempting. I hate myself for this, but I think I'd hate myself even more if I'd kept it down.

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[40]
Nov 11

It's just what my treatment program calls a Lapse. You'll be okay, love <3. I am always here if you need to talk.

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[1225]
Nov 13

The binge/purge cycle is definitely tempting, but as I'm sure you know it's not healthy! Don't let this moment define you though. We all fail at times. Continue moving forward and take steps to make healthier choices. Are you seeing a therapist at all? If not, I would highly recommend as they will help you learn how to heal from this so it doesn't control your life! Also, here is a great resource I give out whenever I can as it has helped me. First, I hope it helps you realize that you are not alone and many people struggle with EDs, but also to assure you that healing is possible and you don't have to constantly be at war with yourself! I hope it helps! Wishing you the best! https://list.ly/list/1erM-youve-spent-enough-time-at-war-with-yourself?feature=search

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briannabean's picture
[2615]
Nov 13

@agse01 I'm not seeing a therapist for this. My friend is the only one who knows about the binging/purging and I want to to stay that way.

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