When I was a kid, my mother had a best friend. They moved i

When I was a kid, my mother had a best friend. They moved into the same apartment complex in CA. Her friend had a son, Brad. Her husband was an executive. When I was five and Brad was four our parents moved out of the apartment complex and into homes about 8 houses apart. Our parents went out to dinner every Saturday together. Our fathers went to XXX movies every Wednesday together. Our mothers played Mahjong together every Thursday. Brad and I were thrown together constantly.

Brad was the kind of kid who always knew what he wanted. He had a fascination with his father's gun from the time I can remember, even though he was forbidden to touch it. He always wanted to grow up to be a cop. In high school he fell in love with Arleen. We always joked that Arleen's biggest attraction for Brad was her chest. But the relationship persisted through college and Brad's mom and dad really liked her. From the moment he met her, Brad always said she would be his wife one day. She was his other half.

After college Brad became a cop. He married Arleen. He had 2 children with her. He rose up the ranks to detective, and then he worked in cybercrime. He quit the force with a pension and opened a business that provided protection against cybercrimes. He and Arleen and the kids lived in a huge, expensive, beautiful, home. She was a stay-at-home mom.

I always secretly thought that Brad knew how to live life. He never seemed to have doubts and he made good decisions. His marriage seemed secure and destined to last a life-time. I wondered if his parents had given him some form of upbringing that insured his success.

I heard snippets of gossip about them every-so-often from people who knew us both. I never kept in touch with them and haven't heard anything since his parents died.

So, in fooling around on the Internet the other day I found the website of the clerk of the court for where I grew up. I started looking up his parents who had passed away a few years ago. While doing that I found that Brad and Arleen got divorced. I wonder what happened. There are so many ways a marriage can die, and I find myself fascinated with the subject lately. I've been thinking about Brad, and that nothing is certain, and that no life is charmed, and that marriages are hard and maybe more of them fail than I realized.

It could be that making a marriage to a very mentally/emotionally ill man last 12 years is, in some twisted way, a success; and not the failure I've been feeling it to be.

show more
View 11 More Comments
Mar 7

@mmadlecl I have supported you too.

beth65's picture
Mar 7

@Rdan I have appreciated your responses. I thought you had gone through troubles in your marriage before too.

Rdan's picture
Mar 8

I did go through trouble in.my marriage. My wife was an orphan and family meant everything to her. But two kids later, they were toddlers, she quietly said she didn't want to be married. She wasn't in a hurry to leave, just that marriage wasn't what she thought it would be.
I thought "way to go - you completely disillusioned your wife about family in three short years!!!"
I had two girls from a previous wife who were suffering the effects of divorce and all that comes with it.
And I was doing it again
That is when I began studying about marriage, my wife and relationships.
So after surviving near bankruptcy, a minute dollars in medical bills, divorce, near divorce, child abuse, alcoholism, drug abuse and the list goes on. Some folk here think it questionable I have any valid opinion or viable input because I have 33 years of a successful marriage. And that's all I'm going to say about it.


Login or Register

You are visiting Support Groups as an anonymous user.

Please consider joining our community and gain access to additional features by

registering or logging into your account