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November 19th, 2020

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When does the depression end? This life I am leading is one

When does the depression end? This life I am leading is one I never wanted or expected. Yet, here I am a single mom of 4 young kids. The mommy guilt it tremendous. I feel like such a failure. I gave everything to this marriage and he still needed another woman. We were happy. He was too. I know I’m blessed but I cannot get over the sadness.

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[3360]
Sep 15

You are so NOT a failure! Please do not beat yourself up! Our lives are filled with twists and turns that we never anticipated. You have four young children and you never thought you would be raising them without their father there. You might want to consider asking him to attend counseling with you. It may bring healing to your marriage.....and if it cannot, at least there can be mutual cooperation and a plan in how to raise the kids and support and love them. You need time to grieve. That does not happen overnight. It is a long journey and it is different for everyone. Give yourself the time you need.....but know that working with a counselor can help you sort out the million emotions you must have. Some days, you may feel strong and some days you can't even imagine making it through the morning.
If the marriage cannot be healed, there are a lot of single parent groups. There are divorce care groups. Look into these in your area. Reach out to local churches for support.....this might even be good for the kids as they go through a lot of emotions and adjustments as well. Reach out to trusted family and friends who can love you through this journey. You need love and support and it is good to seek it out. Talk to your doctor, he/she may be able to suggest some resources that will help you. Pray for your husband, God hears our every word. I wish you peace and hope.

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[4530]
Nov 20

Update: He’s had another affair. This one 9 months long and with a subordinate at work. He’s determined to become a cliche yet again.

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beth65's picture
[36665]
Nov 21

@SadInChicago89 in addition to the one you started your post with? I understand feeling guilty because your kids don't have both parents. My first ex left me 7 months pregnant and it was a struggle for survival and living with my parents most of that time. However the other woman he had another 2 children with, those children who had the home and both parents, the older daughter was completely miserable growing up in that household. My daughter was very thankful to have had the imperfect single mom, with help from loving grandparents, to raise her. She said she wouldn't change her childhood. I felt guilty leaving her to go to work while others had stay at home moms. But what she remembers most is how happy I was to see her every day when I got home from work.

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