This week's Topic: Halloween isn't the only scary thing this year!
Have ideas for a new Blog, let us know!

https://www.supportgroups.com/blog/halloween-isnt-the-only-scary-thing-t...

ARE YOU FOLLOWING US ON IG, PLEASE DO!!!
instagram.com/supportgroupsforeveryone

Today, of course being valentine's day has been a struggle.

lbookwalter's picture
[375]

Today, of course being valentine's day has been a struggle. Mourning the loss of a marriage and best friendship has proven more difficult than I ever fathomed. Trying to remain strong for myself and my beautiful and precious has been hard. I am making it though. It's been almost 7 weeeks since my spouse just walked out. Church family and friends have helped some as well. What I am struggling with most now is the numbing feeling of just going through the motions of every day.... I know this is part of this ugly process but it's still very hard......

Comment
 4
View 1 More Comment
NewMe2.0's picture
[4390]
Feb 14

Hey @lbookwalter. Yes today is a hard day. For many of us. Its the first since DDay. And there will be more firsts too. It is good to know that we are not alone on this difficult journey. @GIrlKitty has given a ton of good advice above. Most of all, its one step at at a time. And it seems you are doing it. It is hard and you should be commended for doing it ... For yourself and for your child. Your children are lucky to have a mom who considers her precious. Be present with them.

And this journey will be a process of numbness interspersed with bouts of intense sadness. I’m walking it too but slowly getting better. For what it’s worth, I was able to apply lessons from therapy to deal with the intense rumination and sadness. I hope you will be able too. But the numbness persisted for awhile. This may not apply to you , but for me, it was the loss of that part of my soul that was a partner for life. When she left, she ripped away a huge part of my identity and I could only replace it with numbness.

Now in DivorceCare, they mention that all the things we have lost from Dday - our partner, our family, financial security... all are temporary and can be lost. The only constant is God. As a Christian, I think you can understand the concept of filling your soul with God. But its not just surrendering to God. But also doing God’s work. Be kind and good to others and to yourself. I see goodness in you @lbookwalter... amazing and caring mother... Shelter Advocate... supporters of others... And this is just what I see. So start to fill your soul with the goodness that you are. This will also remain a constant. And continuing to do what is true to you will be a constant source to draw on that no one else can take away. And I think as you do more of what is true to you, being kind and good, your soul will continue to fill and the numbness will slowly go away. Take this advice for what its worth and a full grain of salt. But I do see Goodness in you @lbookwalter and know that you are supported in this difficult journey.

show more ⇓
Reply
lbookwalter's picture
[375]
Feb 16

@GirlKitty Thank you for the kind words! Although I am emotionally stumbled some days, I dont feel depressed. I have two younger kids that keep me motivated. From church, to sports, to work, it sounds like a lot on my plate but it really does the my children well.. With two evenings S2BX has the kids, I have taken up hiking which I have not done in years.. So I am learning to take joy in the small things of life.

And you are right I am trying to not be so hard on myself. There's no how to manuel dealing with this mess. As well I concur it's one day less Ill have to hurt. The hurt is getting better, lighter most days. That I am thankful for!
I wish you the best and thanks again!

Reply
lbookwalter's picture
[375]
Feb 16

@NewMe2.0 Thank you for the support. It was my first Dday and you are right there will be others first as well, such as my children's birthdays, and holiday seasons. I am so blessed that at least I walked away from all of it wih my two children hand in hand. If I had to do it all again, I would for the sake of them.

Sorry to hear that you're going through a similar difficult chapter. I will be praying for peace to be with you in this season and the upcoming seasons. I experience the numbness mainly at night, that's when my spouse and I would just talk and it was nice. I am mourning the marriage, as well as the friendship side of things. But you are exactly right all of what we are experience is only temporary, I try to remind myself of that daily. And the thing that has always been constant in life has been God. I am trying to use this experience to grow closer to him. Although, moments can be challenging, it's very comforting to know we do not endure this alone. And I remind myself as well, things will be more rewarding on the otherside of this challenge.

Thank you again for the comforting and kind words! Truly appreciate from you and everyone else!

show more ⇓
Reply

Login or Register

You are visiting Support Groups as an anonymous user.

Please consider joining our community and gain access to additional features by

registering or logging into your account