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This is my first attempt for help in a divorce support group

[20]

This is my first attempt for help in a divorce support group. I am going to be served with divorce papers any day now. I'm devistated, sad, depressed, helpless. Where do i go from here?

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[755]
Oct 9

@guest80 these are dark and difficult times... but do re-read eddie1975 post... and I'm reposting a comment that Remainstrong posted for me..
'Just remember, the sun comes up in the morning…
…it's another day to either let the hours beat you down or let the hours give you some joy.'

It's up to you - you do have a choice ! might not feel like it but you do...
And keep posting - we're all in the same situation... similar issues with our other halves... you're amongst friends.

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[2140]
Oct 9

sorry you are going through this .
where do you go from here ?
straight for all the info you can compile tax records , banking info , mortgage documents , and anything else that you deem important .
then head for the computer look for a lawyer read the reviews they are there somewhere .
sorry that this is harsh advice but you would much rather be looking at the documents that you need rather than for them .

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[1540]
Oct 10

Know that you're going to have some really really bad days. Take one day at a time. Take the time to learn how to make your own wellness a priority. Learning to take care of me, and learning to care about me...those were some of the toughest changes that I had to make, but they made all the difference in the world.

Finally reaching out for help, to stop holding everything in. I'm not a talker, so the first outreach was through this support group, where I could be anonymous but still feel supported among others who understood. Next I reached out to an old mentor that I had lost touch with. Someone who I trusted, who I knew had been through a difficult divorce and made it out as a stronger person. There was enough distance still that I felt comfortable opening up. Eventually reached out to a co-worker who I knew could be discrete with the information (and also a recent divorcee). Initially just asked that they just watch my behavior at work, let me know if it looks like I'm distracted and off-focus (lack of focus in my line of work can kill someone, no exaggeration). Eventually asked to meet over coffee and everything spilled out. Started meeting on a regular basis to talk, sometimes about my separation, sometimes about work issues, sometimes about her personal issues, sometimes just to go out for a hike and let the worries go away for a while. Life-changing.

Everyone's path is different. Learn to take care of you. Learn to care for you. You'll get through this.

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