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So this is my first post. Not really sure what I'm looking f

So this is my first post. Not really sure what I'm looking for but I need to talk to someone. I'm almost 50 and have been married for almost 22 years. 2 Children. One in college and a senior in high school.My marriage has been falling apart for the better part of a decade. Sex went from once a week to once every two week to once every other month until now I'm lucky if we have sex twice a year. No affection, no compliments, not even a friendly pat on the back. We aren't even friends. More like estranged roommates. She spends money like its water and just shrugs at ever increasing credit card bills. I'm at the end. i don't trust her to change. I think when I tell her I want a divorce she will act differently but that is all it will be. An act.

I hate this! I am ending something I thought would last the rest of my life. I'm not cheating and will never cheat but I want out. Just to be by myself. I don't know what the dating life is like for 50 year olds but I'm very successful. I don't want a 30 or 40 something. I just want someone who will respect me, build me up instead of tearing me down. Sorry, as i said, not sure what I'm doing here but I needed somewhere to vent. Thank you for any comments. I guess I'm looking for advice from someone who has been through this.

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Sdiamond1026's picture
[31210]
May 29

@FortyTwo
Glad you are able to. I guess sanity of better than money.

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Sdiamond1026's picture
[31210]
May 29

@Timmyboy17
To you it might feel like it’s rectified. The only rectification to us (those cheated on), is to build a time machine because you can’t un-f@@k someone. It’s hard for you to understand maybe because you weren’t the one cheated on, but it’s the worse most brutal thing I’ve ever had to do through. I’m 4 years out and it still affects me daily.. you don’t get over it.. you maybe learn to not think about it, pretend it never happened but it’s always there and the reminders are everywhere.. it’s like f@@@@ing continual mind torture. If she’s seeing someone else, you caused it, sorry to say. It’s hard to not want to be with someone else after this to feel loved and validated because you definitely don’t feel that when your spouse willingly betrayed you. You can say you are sorry until you are blue in the face but it doesn’t erase that level of mind f@@@ery. Only the strong survive this and you have to be a gladiator.. I’m a strong person and I struggle daily with staying here and live with anxiety after it all.

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Timmyboy17's picture
[240]
May 29

Good points

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