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So last night as a complete mess..... I am uncertain how to

[1100]

So last night as a complete mess..... I am uncertain how to process all of this..

Ever since this process started back in May of 2017 and then the realization that my still STBX wife was not going to try to be honest with people and attempt to reconcile our marriage I have been working on myself. Being the best person I can be for myself and be there for my children. With all of the things that some of you may recall I figured this was best. Also after a 20 year relationship and 16 year marriage I figured that was best rather than jumping into trying to find someone. She has been going out with guy after guy and that is her decision and makes it even clearer for me to move on with my life.

The children know of all these guys that she is talking to and seeing and they are less than happy about it as they feel she is more worried about these guys than them. So when I have my kids every other week I focus on them, even do when they are not with me. Everything I do I think about them and how it could or would affect them. And I believe they see this. They have also known that I have wanted all of us back together as a family..

Sooo... I decided to put myself out there a while back on some dating apps just to see what is out there in this big world... As months go on I am getting the typical scams and a couple of women who had liked me but I really wasn't certain this is what I should be doing. So I put it on hold for a while... Go back on about 2 weeks ago and bam... Someone that seemed nice reached out to me , then eventually we decided to meet in person. So last night after the STBX wife picked up the kids I drove to meet this person at a restaurant... Then as we are eating and things were going ok... My kids walk up to the table and say, hi dad.... WTH.... Needless to say it was terrifying to me. I looked and say the STBX standing behind the boys and she lips synced , I am sorry.... Then sits at a table very close to ours.. And at this point it is very uncomfortable.. The woman I was with was not happy as to be expected.. The kids had no clue where I was going I did not mention anything to them at all and they had no way to know at all. She was getting more and more uncomfortable, I turn around and look and my STBX has the most angry pissed off look on her face. Her leg was shaking insanely and basically this is how she gets when she is enraged with anger. So the woman I was with was basically getting horrid looks from her. So I got the check and we got the heck out of there and went our separate ways.

The looks on the kids faces when they walked up to the table I will never forget... I feel so bad because I just left... Did not tell my kids goodbye or anything. What was I supposed to do? I still feel bad to this moment. I texted the two older kids (16 and 13) and they have not replied. And why the heck does the STBX have the right to be angry like that, this is what she wanted?

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[1100]
Jan 17

The person. I went with was a part of the ambush. The while thing was obviously a setup for the kids to see me with her. It is all pathetic to say the least. She will stop at nothing..

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Karinah's picture
[14215]
Jan 17

The person you were with, you met on the dating app. So, do you know when she became part of the set-up? Did she know your STBX prior to going on the dating app. Apologies for the questions. I'm familiar with set-ups. I had never heard of anyone who did this and also framed people regularly until I experienced it myself. It is so messed up and twisted. For my ex it was normal every day life. I wish there was a law where people who engaged in set-ups had to compensate you for every minute of your time, at a steep rate. Time is much to precious to waste with this sh**. You already know this but you are going to have to be careful. Her behavior is off the deep end and likely indicative of a high on the spectrum narc. I am glad that at least your older son seems aware of what's going on and that it's wrong?

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[1100]
Jan 18

@Karinah , unfortunately I believe the person was apart of the set-up from the beginning. The older two boys seem to understand what their mother did was unexeptable. Especially when explaining how their mother was acting and the things she was doing that made it obvious to them.

It is sad that they have already been losing respect for her, this just compiles matters.

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