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So after dealing with the whole I dont love you anymore thin

So after dealing with the whole I dont love you anymore thing, I struggle with guilt and remorse thinking maybe it was my fault for not being a better husband. Is this normal? I never cheated but i struggled with alcohol and depression for much of our marriage. I could have been there more for her emotionally. Is it healthy to think like this? Or di you just try to learn from it and forgive yourself to move on.

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[155]
Dec 3

I confronted her about the possibility of an affair or emotional affair but was told I was paranoid. One month after she decides it's over, sexy underwear show up in her dresser. Shed bring leftovers to work from dinner on her days off, and have beers in her/his car after work, this was before the divorce. All very questionable, but I've come to the conclusion that affair or not, it's all irrelevant. She stopped loving me and moved on. I can use these bits of evidence to prove that she's the bad guy, harbor a grudge and be bitter, full of resentment or I can forgive. Until I can just forgive and move on, I'm not sure how much I can heal. Slept so bad tonight dreaming about her cheating on me. Bad enough it ruins my day, can I at least have some peace at night.

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[286015]
Dec 3

No dude, listen bro, stop blaming yourself right now. She was having an affair and regardless of her denial no one just has beers in their car like that with opposite sx thinking they're not going to do something. That is just asking for trouble and totally inappropriate. Of course you're having dreams because you were traumatised by her abandonment and you are NOT to blame. Even if you made mistakes no one just cheats and can blame their spouse for that. It was her choice to commit adultery. Please go with a clear conscience.

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[286015]
Dec 3

It's true you shouldn't harbor a grudge or unforgiveness. If you have trouble sleeping there's nothing wrong with needing an over the counter sleeping pill. After suffering what you are, being cheated on, I needed one and to sleep soundly.

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