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Not good today. We just agreed on 3100/mo. It’s killing me

Mick77's picture
[1585]

Not good today. We just agreed on 3100/mo. It’s killing me. We did our budgets and she will have $1100 free cash flow each month in her house and I will have $500 in my apartment. Then she took a “temporary” job Just last night after our agreement that most likely pays her an additional $9000/yr. I can’t challenge it because of side agreements we have but it most likely bumps her free cash flow up to about $1500 month, that’s AFTER every bill in the house. I’m not asking for her share of the medical which is $150/mo back to me, I agreed to split her secret $400 credit card that’s now $500 and I have to give her half the blue book value of the car she said was “claustrophobic” and has 3rd row seating. Why am I being trampled on? Why doesn’t anyone see me being taken advantage of? Why is she getting to benefit so greatly from a decision she made that is so wrong? Why am I left to suffer?

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Mick77's picture
[1495]
4 hours ago

@Mick77 PS-I always had an alternative strategy to help pay for their college, a bomd fund that generates income monthly. If it grows large enough it can spit off a few hundred per month, very consistently. That was the plan, they borrow for school and use the monthly income to offset or reduce loan repayment, it’s a long story how I reached that conclusion. But those UGMA accounts have her as the sole custodian and I don’t trust her and I manage them, so we’ll be closing them, splitting the kids money and opening traditional 529 plans now, at least I will with my half

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beth65's picture
[32055]
4 hours ago

@Mick77 I used the settlement money from divorce to pay for my younger daughter's college last year now don't have enough left to buy a modest home in a safe area. She didn't qualify for aid due to prior tax years and had to count my ex's income in that. Also had to pay full price for health insurance since I had to count his income. And didn't get it back. In addition to living off it for the past year. Have been looking for a house that long. I really feel like I should have managed better but also wondering why things can't just fall in place. She is getting enough financial aid now and will be in debt from it. Sometimes I think I make things more difficult than they should be. If I can't afford to live where I want then I need to suck it up and go where I can afford. Seems simple enough.

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Mick77's picture
[1495]
3 hours ago

@beth65 that’s really honorable you paid for you daughter’s education though you definitely made the right decision and had the wherewithal at the time. I also know the health insurance can be brutal when you have to find it privately. It sounds like you’re doing the best you can with what you have and that should be commended. Have you considered a nice apartment complex vs a house ? I was back and forth so much between the two but settled on the apartment for now to take a break from maintenance. I plan on saving the settlement split and revisiting my choice next summer to see how I feel. Apartments can be so short term and the right ones are a perfect blend of nice and affordable and nice amenities. Oh but you do have the dogs I forgot and that can cost extra. But when I was apartment hunting the good majority here allowed dogs, for a price of course. Maybe a half step down to townhouses/condos if you have those around? My stbx kept trying to talk me into a townhouse like it’s her choice, I wasn’t interested in the slightest at this point in time. I hope you find something that you’re at least comfortable with, and I hope you get gainful employment too. There’s so many strategies to landing a job nowadays it just depends on what you want to deal with personally. Retail? A little more education? Certification programs? Things like that.

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