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Newly divorced. I feel like I wasted 23 years of marriage on

[535]

Newly divorced. I feel like I wasted 23 years of marriage on someone who cared more about his job than me and our kids. So with him rarely being home and not once did he ever tell me he missed me, I sought out men who treated me wonderfully. Like I was everything a man would desire. I never had intimacy with these men, I just needed to know I was loveable. I strained quite a few marriages and I am very ashamed of that. Anyhow, I was the one who fI led for divorce. My ex and I are codependent so he would never leave me no matter how unhappy he was. Although he never complained much. Now he is in a new relationship and I’m living in Europe with my kids. He has a new girlfriend and suddenly has all this time for her that he never had for us. I’m livid. So angry and resentful it has been consuming me. Like we were worth nothing. I just don’t know how to get rid of my resentment as it’s eating me up inside. He and I were on friendly terms after the divorce until he moved on. It triggered all these feelings and I’ve been so mean to him he won’t even talk to me anymore. I am only allowed to talk about the kids if he asks me about them. I feel like a castoff even more now.

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[244145]
Apr 24

Your faith in God will carry you through this for sure.

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andrewwalker's picture
[110]
Apr 26

I truly understand that feeling. I think the only reason he has time for this new girlfriend is that it's the beginning of a new relationship and he has to put his best foot forward. What new girlfriend is going to tolerate what you did because you were married and had kids? So a new girlfriend would break up with the neglect you tolerated to keep your family together. He is going to regret one day for losing you for sure.

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[535]
Apr 26

@andrewwalker That is what I am thinking too. And he already shows signs that his work is coming in between his relationship (he canceled Easter plans with her because he got an emergency call, which btw are optional for him to take) Nonetheless, having this group's support and seeing others struggling with similar feelings has made me feel less alone. My bitterness and anger are better at the moment. Thanks for your support, Andrew.

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