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My wife decided she wanted us to get a divorce at the end of

My wife decided she wanted us to get a divorce at the end of January. We made the decision to sell our home, because I'm the only one that works and she's a stay at home mom with our 2 kids. I'd never be able to afford our current home and another living situation going forward. That in and of itself is painful enough. However, the process of looking for an attorney and what it's going to cost me, wondering what she and her attorney are going to come up with for terms of the divorce that I'll have to respond to, what I'm going to have to live on going forward, how often I'm going to be able to see my children each week, are she and I going to be able to parent our children amicably, it's all so overwhelming. It feels like my life is spinning out of control and there is no solid ground for me to stand on. Divorce is a nightmare. I tried so hard to steer our marriage away from this mess. We went to counseling, both individual and couples counseling. But it just staved off my wife's decision for 7 months until she just decided she was completely done. I want so badly to treat my soon to be ex-wife with respect and come to a fair decision on how to settle our divorce. I believe that approaching it like this would have the best possible outcome for our children. If I disagree with what she wants in the terms, I feel it will erode her willingness to work with me on parenting and custody. It all feels so **** unfair. I've worked so hard to support my family, and now I have to give up half of everything and half of my time with my children. I don't want time with my kids to become a decision about how much money wife will get in the divorce. It's horrible.

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CKBlossom's picture
[429485]
Mar 13

Would she agree to mediation? If you can agree to terms it is way cheaper than 2 lawyers.

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[11515]
Mar 13

Tell you you want to resolve this amicably and ask her to send you a written proposal as a place to start.

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[605]
Mar 20

I agree with you that Divorce is a Nightmare. There are lots of things you can do before resorting to divorce. The goal is to seek a qualified counselors or pastor who can help you reconcile. Find someone who can explain how to get your marriage back on solid ground. Most couples have never had the training they need in order to have a Healthy Marriage. There are lots of books and seminars that can help you out. My wife and I like to attend "Weekend to Remember" marriage seminars. At those seminars, my wife and I have learned essential truths about marriage - that we never found anywhere else. Many couples have decided to stay together after going to seminars like that. You may also want to check out a book called "One More Try" by Gary Chapman. Prayer helps. Good marriages are supported by prayer. God Bless you both! Hope it works out well! You can do this!

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