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My husband and I separated last Friday and he hasnt really t

My husband and I separated last Friday and he hasnt really talked to me since. I asked him if this separation was a step towards divorce or if it was possible that we could reconcile and he says he doesnt know he has to think about it. He sent me an email on Monday, saying that he had been doing some thinking but still wanted to reanalyze the situation. i asked him about it on tuesday and he didnt answer. On Wednesday I asked him if it was too soon for me to ask what he meant by that and he said yes. we havent talked since then. its like my whole world has stopped while waiting on his answer. before i moved out he told me that it was a 80% chance that we wouldnt get back together but im still hoping on that 20%. im hoping like hell that he wants to reconcile, but with every passing day i lose more hope. I just wish he would tell me what we're doing. If the answer is no, then why make me suffer and drag this out. I feel like he knows that im a wreck right now. i dont know what to do.

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Lildarlin's picture
Jun 18, 2017

I am so sorry broken hearted I am in the same situation u are in and my husband said there was no chance for us,but he gives me mixed signals. I think it's power and control that my husband and your husband are potraying. They know we're waiting on pins and needles and when they say they want to come back we will take them back. Talk to me if you need to. I need someone to talk to as well. Maybe together we can can get through this.

Jenn4473's picture
Jun 19, 2017

Hi heartbroken. Welcome to our group. I am so sorry for all of that. I know a little bit about what that feels like. Sometimes, when people say they want a divorce, it is code for they need huge changes in the relationship. I know, it's dumb and mean but sometimes, people just do not articulate well. Ask him for a list of things he needs out of the relationship and time to work on the items (not a week, like 12-18 months) and he will in turn give the relationship a fair shot. Do you think that is something he might consider?

Spirit2spirit's picture
Jun 21, 2017

I hear how upset and hurt you are by your husband's choice to separate. Separation and divorce aren't easy or fun having been down that road before. Whenever I find myself feeling lost and alone and not knowing what to do I rely on my faith to guide me and get me through. I would not be who I am today had I not relied on my faith to get me through my divorce. Do you have a faith or a belief system that can guide you and help you through the separation? Maybe seek out a church and talk to a pastor or join a support group. DivorceCare is a great support group for people going through separation and divorce. Maybe they have a group in your area. Also, can you ask your family and friends for support?Having a support system is good for you right now. In the meantime, work towards moving forward with your life without your husband. I know that sounds strange but it will help you. Maybe you have been given an opportunity to focus on YOU and what you want in your life and to take steps towards something new in your life.

Hang in there. You're not alone. You will get through this.

Blessings to you and your husband.

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