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In case you didn't read my previous post.. I am due in 16 da

In case you didn't read my previous post.. I am due in 16 days with my husbands third child, we separated over a month ago because he was continually having relations with another women whom he states are "just friends" yet he can't stop talking to her and threw his marriage away for ultimately.
But anyways... the night before last was so rough... he told me that she had gone on an over night trip with him and then afterwards he didn't make it to see his children before leaving for training for 11 days like he said that he would.. I was so upset! I felt sick thinking of him spending the night with another women and so sad for my kids that he was already being a **** Dad. But anyways... I cried all night put my big girl panties on and said enough is enough. I am not giving him the power the upset me any longer! I made a pact with myself that I would not ask about his girlfriend, I would not discuss anything that wasn't about our kids, I wouldn't talk to him about what he had done to me and I refused to talk to him about the baby coming because that right there is the worst feeling ever.. I felt good and empowered all day long. Then he said he got the night off of training and wanted to come over and see the girls. I agreed. I could tell they had been working him hard and he was tired. I made him some dinner and something cold to drink. It was so hard to see him in uniform, he was finally working in his dream job, the one we had both gone through so much to get him there. And I was here, pregnant, hardly able to walk, taking care of kids all day, with no income and not a single dollar in my wallet. I wanted to hear all about his new job but I also hated every minute of it. I could feel my blood boiling. I asked him to stop. To just see the girls. He started crying to me because the instructors at training had brought up to think about how they got where they are and who was their biggest support. He told me he knew that it was me, he wouldn't be where he was without me and he was so sorry for what happened to us. I wanted to cry too. But then I said... yet you threw it all away for your friend.... He instantly stopped crying and said you need to stop talking about that... AMAZING! I don't understand why he has to mind f*** me all the time! Why couldn't he just stop talking to her months ago! Why can't he be a good husband and be here when I go into labor? Why can't he just be who I know he can be? Why can't he just leave me alone now? My heartaches because I never wanted any of this. I still love him so much and ache for him to be home. I am so heartbroken some days I feel like I'm not going to make it! I went to bed frustrated but not mad or sad, just exhausted from staying up most of the night before. But I felt okay... I woke up this morning to a dream that my husband was laying in bed with me, holding me. I started crying in my dream, telling him how good it felt that he was there, a month without sleeping next to someone was awful. I rubbed his chest and his hair, missing how he felt.. then he scooted away from me and said Brooke, we have been separated for over a month, I shouldn't have stayed lastnight, you know there's no way we can go back.. Even in my dreams he is still mind F***ing me!! I don't know what do anymore. Take the little comforts he is offering from a distance but know in my heart we will still be done in the end? Or cry myself to sleep most nights till eventually I get over him? I know I am better off. I know he is an awful human being for what he has done to me... But I still can't let go of him. We aren't done because I stopped loving him... I have to learn to stop and it is killing me in the process.

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Fiftyyoung's picture
Jun 13

I'm so sorry you're going through this nightmare. On top of your husbands betrayal, you're having another baby. My h spent 22 years in the military. It's difficult for the wife, but know this, you and your children will be taken care of. He has a responsibility to you and his children. The military will see to that. Please pursue counseling for yourself and secure an attorney who specializes in family law. Do not rely on his attorney (JAG) to look after your interests. I'm sorry if my post sounds cold and clinical, I'm just sharing knowledge. My heart aches for you and your children. Please take care of yourself.

eddie1975's picture
Jun 13

I'm sorry for what you are going through. A baby on the way makes it so much more difficult. A cheating spouse is a different breed of human. Chemicals in their brain are not going to enable them to think correctly. Have you been to marriage counseling? If not make sure the therapist is a god Christian therapist that will recommend he cut off all contact with that person. Check out books by William Harley and Gary Chapman. Google them to. They write a lot of articles that are very helpful. I just printed one of Gary Chapman's internet articles and put it on my war room wall last night. In one of the books I read the author said he even suggests to people in these situations that they quit their jobs and move if necessary. The marriage is the most important thing and that extramarital relationship has to be ended at all costs.


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