I'm feeling overwhelmed. I have met with the first Realtor.

I'm feeling overwhelmed. I have met with the first Realtor. I wasn't impressed. Tomorrow I meet with the second Realtor to see what he has to say. I like that he is confident and proactive. He has scheduled a photographer to come on Wednesday so that the house can be on the market on Thursday. On Wednesday the carpets are being cleaned also.

Stbx is supposed to rent a self-storage unit on Monday. We plan to empty out the closets into boxes and put them in the storage unit so that the house looks less cluttered.

I've left a message for the movers accepting their proposal to move me in May.

My friend is making arrangements to fly up here to drive with me to my new state. She will help me to get the house ready to be transferred to the new owners... assuming it sells by the time I leave.

I have a list of about 80 things I have to do. I had planned to be productive this weekend, but i had the 2nd Covid vaccine and it wiped me out.

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Apr 5

@eddie1975 thank you Eddie. Moving to another state, switching jobs, finding a place to live, is amazingly labor-intensive.

Rdan's picture
Apr 6

@PB2020 Each thing you listed is a source of major stress - it will take a toll on your emotional stability. Some of this may be a catalyst for a time of grieving. Someone suggested I grieve over a personal thing was going through with my wife a (personal) loss.
It turned out to be some of the best advice.
Once when I was shopping I began to get to a point of crisis - I realized I had kept going doing what needed to be done - but had not taken the time to check on myself. I was at a point I could hardly lift my hand to get bread and pay for a few items.
I went out to the car and sobbed my heart out. I acknowledged my heart was desperately hurt - then I was able to move forward with a determination and renewing of my spirit. I began to change my focus to the things I could be thankful for. I was in a better place.
I think as you get closer to the move you will break down - but you will get back up - stronger.
Be well my friend. Hugs and loves!!

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Apr 9

Thank you Rdan.I don' really feel like crying over him. I don't like him enough. He has been very emotionally abusive, mentally ill, stupid, dishonest, no morals, no boundaries, sneaky, no integrity. I am upset that I am older and will be facing old age alone, and that I wasted this time trying to make the marriage work, when he put no effort into it. However, the upset does not reach the level that it would make me cry. And I find I no longer miss having him around as he is unpleasant, not to be trusted, and although this will sound strange, he never rose to the level of friend and partner in this marriage. I was very alone in this marriage because there was a dead wife taking up his emotions.

I am just feeling very stressed trying to put my life back together. But things are coming together slowly but surely. And since this is not the first time I have moved alone and left everything behind, I have some idea of the things I need to do, and to avoid.

The movers are scheduled. A friend is flying out to drive to my new state with me. She will fly back the day after we get there. I was kind of hoping she would be there a little longer to help me get the apartment ready for the movers, but I will hire a maid, and that will solve that.

I think I have the job situation handled.

Now I just need to focus on the social aspect, so I don't get lonely. I've been working on this side since July and have made at least one "friend" who I talk to in email regularly. We spent time exploring the area together when I visited in February. I have also made a potential Tai Chi partner friend, as this is something I want to learn. So, I am investing time trying to make friends and I hope some of these will pan out. I think eventually moving into a 55+ active adult community may help with the social side of things too.

Buying a home and getting out from paying rent, will help with the finances and then I will feel much better about that.

Overall I am hopeful that this is a good move for me.

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