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I'll keep this short and sweet. Feeling confused and lonely,

I'll keep this short and sweet. Feeling confused and lonely, hopeful, sad, worried.

I spoke with my wife yesterday and had her come over to my apartment. We finally talked about things, and she finally admitted she's been seeing the co-worker. She basically broke it down to say that he was giving her emotional support, making her feel things she hadn't felt in our marriage for a long time. She did at least admit it's not all my fault, that she had a roll in it as well. She let me know she's been humiliated in our small town because of the gossip. I explained that wasn't on me, that's her doing. I explained again that I never wanted to give up on our marriage, and she said she never did either and didn't expect for me to file for divorce as she said she never mentioned that divorce and then recanted and said she did say it once, but didn't mean it. She said she always thought we were going to work things out till we went to the counselor and then said I shut her out after that. I explained that when we went to the counselor she lied and made it all about being my fault, and I had no other idea what to do at this point because she wasn't admitting what she was doing nor telling me anything in regards to us. I told her I willing to forgive her like I had approached her on easter sunday and told her the same thing if she truly wanted to work on us. I said if she does she would need to stop talking to him. She works with him and I said I understand that but there should be no communication outside of work. She said she understood and would need to talk to him to tell him what's going on, to which I understand that. I said you need to let me know what you want to do, either we go our separate ways like the path we're on or we're going to try to work it out. She said she would need a day or two to let me know. She then said we should go to dinner tonight (this talk was last night) but she's taking our daughter and her friends tonight to a play, and then stated we should do dinner Saturday to finalize this conversation. I spoke with my mom and she's not a huge fan of her (understandably) but said she'd support me in whichever decision choose. She told me to do what's truly going to make me happy. I shop she calls to meet tomorrow so we can do dinner and hopefully she tells me we're going to work it out. Right when she left my apartment, she said thank you for having her over.

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May 15, 2019

You sound like a very reasonable person, and I hope you’re able to find happiness in whatever you decide to do.

Good luck!

May 16, 2019

I’m so sorry! I’m sure you were hanging on to hope and it truly was a stab to your heart. She she even look remorseful? I can’t understand how some people just fall out of love. Cheating just destroys the other partner in so many ways and when there are children involved they hurt as well. When the other spouse cheats they must think it’s only cheating on the other half but the children get cheated on as well. Making them feel lost and confused. There isn’t anything anyone can say to you that will make you feel better right now. I know I’ve been there before and looks like again. Try to keep a smile on especially when you’re around her. I get it that the smile on your face will be fake as your insides scream pain.

Scat's picture
May 16, 2019

I'm proud of you and impressed you're not going to be walked on anymore. It almost sounds like she actually thought you were supposed to be at her beckon call, friendly and cordial, whilst she continued her ADULTEROUS affair. Um no, you did the right thing, drawing the line in the sand and standing up for your own dignity. Good for you. I hope things start looking up for you now that you at least have some sort of closure. It is agonizing being left in limbo the way you were. She sounds like a selfish cant. There I said it.


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