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I just met with my stbxh and it couldn't have been more deva

[1075]

I just met with my stbxh and it couldn't have been more devastating. I am the idiot who still thinks that if there is love everything can be solved and it's not like that. He accuses me of things I haven't done. He has create an image of me like I am a monster and he has done everything well and has been an amazing husband and I am a bi*ch that didn't appreciate that and that is not true. He tells me that is not that bad that he yells at me and dares to ask me when has he yelled at me (all the time!). It is crazy how he has created a story around how I am the one to blame and how he has done everything for me, and it is so untrue so unfair that I want to cry from frustration. Anyway, I am the stupid who wants him back and he doesn't want to be with me anymore, he wants nothing to do with me and blames me for everything. He manipulates the reality of what happened. I am such a stupid because he doesn't love me and I keep begging him. He is completely convinced that he has been the perfect husband and I have been an awful wife. I feel so low, so worthless... everything I have done for him, his family, his son... all is worth nothing to him. He judges me for my mistakes and not for the good things. At the end of the day for him I am worthless. I don't know how loving him this much he tells me he doesn't believe I love him and doesn't trust in my love for him. I feel so worthless... like nothing is enough because I am judged for my mistakes. I feel so much pain. I thought we were going to grow older together. 3 weeks ago we were going to have kids, buying a house and now he says he doesn't want to be with me anymore. 8 years thrown into the trash because my flaws are worst than my virtues. He doesn't want to be with me because he says I treat him bad, when he is the one who has badmouthed me to our friends so badly that even they have defended me. He is the one who yells at me, who explodes for little things, who wants everything done his way, the one who doesn't care about my needs... and I am the crappy wife for telling him so. Because the reason of him telling me I treat him bad is for pointing this things out. He blames me for telling him that he is unflexible, that he acts selfish (he does!) He just doesn't want anybody to point anything wrong with him because he thinks he is perfect. I can't even express an opinion that contradicts him or express a diferent point of view without him telling me that I am calling him and a****le and that he is not worth it (whaaaaat?). Anyway, he doesn't love me anymore. How do I stop loving him?

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[1075]
Sep 17

@eddie1975 And I hope it is too late, because the harm to your kids is a no-no and out of the question. You will find a good woman to make a family with. I know you will.

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eddie1975's picture
[8510]
Sep 18

@camelia Thank you. I wish I felt the same way about myself as you seem to see me. I just think I screwed up so bad. She cheated and did all this stuff but did I push her to that? It's hard not to feel guilty for creating her.

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[1075]
Sep 18

@eddie1975 of course not. I am sure she reached a point where she look out for some variety and excitement out of the relationship and this is not the first case I see. Some people just throw it all away when they get that rush, to me it is unexplainable but it happens. But it is a choice, that is the truth. We can choose how to behave and what to do, it has nothing to do with you. For what you have commented I believe she was comfortable and when she met this new partner it make her feel wanted, excited and it was fun. But that is a behaviour of a 20 year old, not a grown up woman with family. She just chose the adrenaline. And again, this is the kind of story that ends up with her begging to you because there comes a point where you realize that you have given up everything what we pursue all whole lifes and that is a family, stability and real love. But that probably will happen when this boyfriend of hers leaves her, because she made the choice to leave and it is really difficult to some people to admit to themselves that they have screwed up. So that is why I hope you will not take her back, because she behaves selfishly and I know you deserve better.

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