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I have been with my wife 15 years, married 7. We have a 5 y


I have been with my wife 15 years, married 7. We have a 5 year old child. We had been having a difficult year but nothing crazy. 30 days ago, out of nowhere, she says she needs some room to thing, she doesn't know where we're going, she's freaking out, she's totally turned off.
I give her time...3 weeks later she says I don't love you anymore I can't give more to this relationship I think we need to separate. I freaked out and asked her to go do marriage counselling. She says she doesn't believe in it (she used to !!!) and she would go to 1 session just to please me....eventually she dropped out and we never went.
How can someone drop out of love like that...she says she doesn't really know how she made it there without noticing. Small things, like she supported me through hard stuff and didn't really deal with it the right way but basically...she just ran out of love overnight...
The feeling of abandonment is enormous, I have no one waiting for me at home anymore, no one that cares...

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Oct 16

@MyBrokenHeart3 Exact same thing. I have pleaded with my wife in the past weeks and all I got was an empty look of her saying "this is hard..." because she didn't know how to say "no". She "doesn't close the door on us" but I honestly don't see how she would fall in love with me all over again from a distance when we actually stop talking for good...lol.
It's tragic, I feel your pain. I hope you do better soon. I have been reading a great book about abandonment and it's given me great leaps forward. Some days are harder than others and it still hurts but I am trying to shift the focus from my ex to myself.
Right now I'm in "no contact" mode, we keep it business only about our daughter, it's helping me put some distance and try to focus on myself.
I hope you are doing ok, keep in touch.

Irish925's picture
Oct 16

@John2003 Sounds like you are doing a lot better john! "I honestly don't see how she would fall in love with me all over again from a distance when we actually stop talking for good...lol." curiosity sir, curiosity...right now, or before 180 she knew your comings and goings, now she gets crickets...you are unseen....unheard from...the mind is a total mindf*&k that works both ways. You think about her right, well now that she doesn't hear from you and has gotten used to hearing from you daily will make her wonder...Oh and when she pushes you out of her head during that time b/c she couldnt deal w/ it...6 months down the road that same thought will buzz her mind...again....however its magnitude has grown by 6x...you are doing great John...really proud of you!

Oct 19

I just went to my last mediation session with my EX. I can barely look at her. I'm still angry that she would do this to me, but MOST of all to our daughter without even trying counselling or anything, just giving up of all of us. What a shame, what a coward thing to do. I'm trying not to let my anger get the best of me...it's hard....


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