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I have been feeling extremely down all day. I didn't bother

I have been feeling extremely down all day. I didn't bother anyone with my feelings. I am not sure if it's because of the holiday season or my missing 2 days of my antidepressants. I wasn't perfect but I tried my best with my X husband. Today I imagined him coming home from work, just having his presence made me feel safe & comfortable.

He hurt me so much with the constant cheating. I tried to think of all the bad times to shake these feelings but it did not work today. I don't understand how could you repeatedly hurt someone you love. I don't know what goes on in his life but I don't think he's hurting as badly as I am. I still haven't found anything that makes me happy. (Hurting)

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Dec 19

@Katya12 Hi thank you for commenting I really appreciate your thoughts. I agree with you completely about how could I have ever felt safe with a person that cheated on me so many times. But I did maybe its because I was with him for 17 years. I was so used to him being around & now it's just me & our kids.

I started back taking my pills & will not miss anymore. Counseling doesn't really help much. & I think my friends are tired of me complaining about my pain. As far as my family I really don't have anyone that I feel comfortable talking to. I can't even tell them that I am taking antidepressants.

I feel a lot better when I vent on this site. The comments that I receive cause me to feel better & brings me back to reality about my situation a lot like your comment.

My kids & I were invited to hangout with my daughter's best friend family. So I am looking forward to that.

I just go through my phases because I am still hurting & I think I haven't completely accepted the fact that my X doesn't really care about me or our kids. Thank you for your advice & prayer it does make a big difference in how I feel. I wish you all the best (hugs)

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beth65's picture
Dec 19

@TR06 I was just thinking you're in the down part of the rollercoaster right now. I can relate exactly to your pain. I still fantasize that he comes to his senses and wants to do whatever it takes to be a good loving husband to me. I hope you feel a bit better soon.

beth65's picture
Dec 19

I've been saying it's like a dark cloud permeating everything. The things I used to like doing, even enjoying my grandchildren, I wasn't able to do that for a long time. It's getting a little better now. Another person in my DivorceCare group likened it to always being under a wet blanket all the time.


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