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I can't do this. I know I say that a lot but eventually the

eddie1975's picture
[28605]

I can't do this. I know I say that a lot but eventually the straw breaks the camel's back. I can't have a conversation with her without seeking answers. I just can't do it. I posted that early morning conversation with her and of course because I have feelings I'm the bad guy. After receiving a ton of feedback about how she is the rational one and I'm the crazy one I just give up. I've never hurt her or anyone else, ever. I wouldn't dream of doing the things to her (or anyone on earth) that she has done to me. After she tells me to keep the kids out of it and make a decision I did. I told her they wanted to watch the fireworks with me and invited her to join us. I didn't get a definite answer but i'll be damned if a few hours later she didn't text our twelve year old and tell her she wasn't going to make it because she worked all day and had to check on a friend's dog, blah, blah, blah. What happened to not involving the kids? Why not just text me? FML!

So I text her and simply say "Come watch the fireworks with us." She says it's impossible but if she doesn't go check on the dog then maybe she can make it. I told her I want her to make it. I told her this for the sake of the children. Then she asks me if I want her to bring snacks. I told her that's not necessary because I just fed the kids. So she shows up and hangs out with us. We didn't say one word to each other but she kept walking way inside my personal space, almost brushing against me at times. If I'm crazy then I need my therapist to diagnose me ASAP because I think it's weird to just act like nothing has happened. I can't do it. I can't live the rest of my life like this.

After my daughter's birthday on August 28th I'm probably going to disappear. I promised her an amazing birthday so I'm obligated to that. I just can't live my life like this pretending like everything is okay. I shouldn't be penalized for wearing my heart on my sleeve.

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PatMill's picture
[15720]
Jul 8

@eddie1975 Eddie, I so wanna give you a wedgee right now lol. I'll tell you what you wanna hear. You're not a screw up or monumental failure. There I've said it. Get out of that unnecessary negative attitude you got goin on. Instead say H3ll yeah! I did my best, but she's too darn stubborn to see what's in front of her. Positive thinking Eddie!

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Iristoiris's picture
[7815]
Jul 8

@eddie1975 You aren't a monumental failure, especially if you've done everything for/in love. We all fail, but your heart is in the right place. Other people fail us. God doesn't. But it's hard to fill that void that was left. The enemy is behind the failures in others, but he will not win. He may feel he's won the battle, but Satan will not win the war. But, Satan also wants to take you down with her. Fight back.

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mmadwaite's picture
[28000]
Jul 8

@Michael72 Thank you for this. Scat, I assume it helped. I'm going to try it.

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