I am having a really hard time today. It has been very disap

_Kira_'s picture
[290]

I am having a really hard time today. It has been very disappointing trying to find a place to live. Even though I have the money to pay the rent and more, I haven't worked for 5 years, I have a small dog, I'm in my early 40's so all roommates want someone around their age (20's, 30's). I am tired of trying to convince myself that I'm going to be OK; I feel that I won't. I keep looking for something that will give me hope. Every day for the last few months, when all this divorce process started, I keep hoping that would be the day when I start seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. That something will happen that will make feel and believe that one day everything will be OK. I can hope no more. I feel shattered, empty, exhausted. I don't know where to get the strength to keep going.

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_Kira_'s picture
[290]
Apr 24

Thank you so much all of you. I feel better reading these posts because I feel you really understand what I'm going through. Well intentioned people don't seem to realize how hard this is. I feel that they think I should just change my attitude and be optimistic. Believe me I try hard and I know that's exactly what it takes, but it's easier said than done. A lot of the time I feel I'm drowning and it's so embarrassing to start crying in public. He seems to be doing so well. A couple of months ago I asked him how he seemed just fine and he told me "Life goes on" It hurt so much to hear that from him

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[11280]
Apr 24

@_Kira_ Unfortunately, breaking the emotional bond is very difficult. Knowing that they moved on so easily really hurts, until you can wrap your mind around the fact that they are incapable of being in a healthy, loving relationship. They can portray all that is happiness, but they'll never be happy. Once you break that bond and find a way to focus on what you want out of your life it starts to get easier. No contact got me over the hump. It's a long road, but it will get better. Saying a prayer for you to find a good living situation. I'm certain it's out there. Just gotta keep trying, even when you don't want to. Always here to listen.

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[1565]
Apr 24

@_Kira_ Its a hard thing to go through. But taking every single positive thing about recovery and nurturing them helps! So just simple things: smiling again and laughing, eating/sleeping well, not being angry or bitter about situation but learning from them, thanking every single person that helps/supports you. These things have helped me feel better! The reason you feel like this is because you are a good person and have a huge heart, but its been damaged, it just needs time to heal! But it will heal and you will be better for it!

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