I am feeling so lost & honestly helpless. I am 34yrs old & h

I am feeling so lost & honestly helpless. I am 34yrs old & have been with my husband for 17yrs, married 15yr this sun. 2 months ago I asked him what was going he had been acting distant. He started to say he just wasn't happy, didn't know what he wanted etc. A few days later I found out he was cheating with multiple girls & he stated he has been doing for some time. He states he checked out a long time ago but when I asked why he states there was just lack of connection. We have had our fair share of ups and downs. I want my marriage so much, despite what he has done. Buy he says he done, over me, doens love me. He likes to be single, do what he wants, likes the attention etc.
He doesn't wnt a divorce says its to much work, we have kids so we both worry about them (16& 11yrs old) they understand as well & it has been hurting them too. Idk wjat to do, I love him so much & don't want to give up but at every turn he ignores my efforts. He does still talk to me, hasn't take. Away income etc. I am in school but don't see with everything how I cam focus it has already been so hard. I do tnhavebmuch family,uch of the time I'm the stay at home mom so he could further his career and because we were military. I just don't know what to do, how to move on, how to even start especially because I don't want to.

I never saw this coming& he doenst even see what he is doing, the pain he is causing not only me but our girls. This is all to much , I feel like I'm drowning, everyone can see but no one helps..

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(160)
Aug 7

@Scat I will probably join the infidelity group. Talking on here helps, I do see a therapist every 2wks or so.

I get what u say about him losing the marriage but I lose him completely too. As right now I do have him some. It's not right or what I want but uta better than nothing. I have talked to an attorney but it dnt sound like a good way to go either.

Not sure how to put my energy only into me or even a Lil. I do not know how to give myself kindness when I am hurting so& only want my husband. It's beyond hard.
Thanks for your kind words

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Scat's picture
(342245)
Aug 10

@Marsha88, it's understandable you'd feel that way. This is all very fresh and takes time to process. I know it is difficult to absorb. Hopefully just hang in there. Eventually things unfold and transform.

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(160)
Aug 11

@Scat I will hope you are right

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