I am feeling lost and confused. My husband who I have been

I am feeling lost and confused. My husband who I have been with for 18.5 years has decided he wants a divorce. I am 40 years old, back living with my mother and was fired from my job right before he left me. He kept the house and our dogs. I have no idea what I am going to do with my life now. Not even sure what steps to take. We are technically separated, but he just told me he was happier with me gone, is moving to another state and he did not think we would ever get back together.

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Leahzan's picture
(19090)
Jun 10

@jcw1981 Check with your state's rules regarding separate property and community property. You may be entitled to a portion of the house's appreciation even if your name wasn't on the title. Each state is different. That is the same for other assets, too (i.e. retirement accounts). I would make a list of all of the financial and real estate assets you have and take it to an attorney to advise you on what you/he are entitled to as a married couple. Once you know what the law will allow, then you can start making plans. My state is a common law state in which everything is basically community property. That cost me a lot of money. While I didn't like having to pay my cheating husband anything, knowing what the laws were helped me determine what was or wasn't worth fighting and making a plan. It helped me focus on nuts and bolts and actually distract me from the anger and emotions. It also allowed me to control the divorce process. In my case, I offered him 50% of everything because I just wanted to be done and not fight over anything. Our divorce was swift which was worth the money I had to pay out.

For you, your husband may be making wrong assumptions about what is considered solely his property. It is best for you to know sooner rather than later. For instance, you can put a legal injunction on certain transactions until you come up with a settlement agreement.

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andine's picture
(64930)
Jun 10

@Leahzan is right. Best to move quickly regarding finances and property.

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(610)
Jun 10

I am so sorry you are going through this. Did you try and seek marital counseling? There are many stories about marriages that have bounced back after counseling. There are also seminars and marital retreats that have saved many marriages. https://bit.ly/3pLLRYH God has a wonderful plan and purpose for your life and He wants to see marriages survive. Have you sat down with your husband to find out what you can do to make this marriage work?

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