This week's Brilliant New Topic: It is Thanksgiving next week y'all, where has the year gone???
November 19th, 2020


Hi. Sorry this is a long kind of whiny story. I'm newly sepa

Hi. Sorry this is a long kind of whiny story. I'm newly separated. Husband of 10 years developed a porn problem a few years ago after some employment issues. I recently found out about it and confronted him. He became emotionally and sexually abusive. I did not want a divorce, I wanted him to get help for his porn and depression so we could do couples counseling. He refused, then sexually assaulted me for the 3rd time in the last few months. He scratched his shins on the drawers of our bed by doing so. I asked him to leave. He called police for what he told me was an escort to help him get his things, said he was afraid he was going to hurt me. They ended up arresting me because of the scratches on his shins. He filed a protective order with temp custody and I didn't see my 8 year old son for 2 weeks. Went to court got week on week off custody for now but I'm sure I'll end up with full custody as he has a history of irresponsible decisions, addictions and neglects our son while he is with him. Husband locks himself in bedroom all day watching pornography. I find myself missing him even after what he's done. No one understands how I can forgive him after this but I know he has not been in his right mind since he lost his job a few years ago. My son and I start therapy in a few weeks. I've texted my husband a few times but he has not replied. I asked him to drop the divorce and do therapy all together, alone and as a couple. He has not even replied to the texts about our son with me asking him for updates on our son's emotional state so I can discuss with therapist. It's like he has no heart and doesn't care about our son or me and never did yet he is pursuing custody. I don't get it. He's playing the good father now. He's a great liar and showman but his family are the only ones falling for it because they're never really around due to distance. He's very angry at me and blames me for all of his problems. I just want the family my son deserves and want my husband to help himself so we can get help together.

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Jul 13, 2019

Thanks, glad you're doing well. I hope the same goes for us soon. He's very angry, blames me for all of his problems. Before me, he blamed his mother and sister. He just can't seem to take responsibility for anything. I think I was too young when we met to realize that would become an issue.

Jul 31, 2019

I've heard so many times that porn addiction with men is a chemical brain issue, because of the chemicals released in a man's brain during intercourse. So it can be more for him than just the porn itself, and having employment issues cuts at his male ego not being able to provide for his family.
Sounds like a very difficult situation. I am a praying person, which has helped me through my divorces... Many prayers for you...

Aug 1, 2019

Gosh this is awful. I'm so sorry you and your son have been and are being put through this. My narc also porn addict, plus escorts etc. Also really angry ALL THE TIME. about everything. please keep yourself safe.


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